Thursday, May 29, 2008

Hello,

I am back from an exciting non-school day at school :)
First, I overslept and let my groupmates waiting for me for 40 minutes, I am terribly sorry.
Also very sorry I have no money to take cab :( so miserable.

And during meeting, we couldnt think of any innovative marketing strategies so we went for or-te at design and met yanlin, nette, sam, pat and some DB guys.
lulilu, there's a jogging date tmr!

So after lunch, we went to vote for the people who shamelessly palce their face all around school, YES, I am shameless too. The even shameless one declares that ppl will vote for her cause she is the pretty one. dunno who la, HOR? JIA***!!

and I was practically cornered at every step i took at cyber centre.
First it was benben and his partner, uncle pang hock, uncle sam, paul, cleaning aunty, glenn than kyle.
All asked me the question of why I did not run, and it really made me ask myself this question why did I not run. Tsk tsk tsk. but oh well, the decision of running for only one yr was made last year. so should stopthinking. even if this yr's batch is so fun to work with, argh. too late..

HAHAHA. i miss cleaning aunty alot alot alot, she misses me too.
and she kept on saying 'chantek ah', thanks thanks, i know, only you say that to me aunty :D

okay, i should start on article, omg.

I love vintage & rouge-.

30

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Today today today is a wednesday, another DPD day!
Like you probably have expected, DPD with Thiru is another funny day,
technical failure day, thiru speaking as a thrid person...
But no, today was a DPossibleDay!
I finally completed my DPD Presentation after 5 weeks of procrastination from the IT people.
IT really suck at bus school.

Today is another calculus day, probably my favourite subject this semseter.
I love calculus, i can finish it in lightning speed leh, all thanks to Mrs Kumar
who trained F9 students to A1 student A and F maths :D
And today, I was making some observations on my classmates trying to differentiate..
and even MR Charles Loh, the tutor who seems to like me alot.
So this is what I wrote on a random piece of paper:
"Hello, Im quite bored.
So I have been observing Mr CHarles and you cannot imagine the numer of analusis I've concluded. He'll touch his fringe with his right hand when he is not doing anything. He has this rattlesnake looking belt *inserts rattlesnake image*, his hiar looks really like a mushroom and I love mushrooms so Im actually craving for Century Square's Fried Mushroom (inserts Yingxiu's approving nod)! He is probably not a very good mathematician because he needs to point at the numbers to work out the equation. &lastly, I secretly think he's ***. Pass down la"

HAHA, my whole row kept laughin I dunno why leh.
& to prove that the last sentence is not true, there was xiao qiang.
this big brown and juicy cockroach who came to visit 3H10 at calculus class today.
& I thought Mr Loh would jump and scream but nahhh, he was so brave, looking for things to 'smack' the cockroach. So he is not la!
And and, the group of us were asking MR KENNETH PANG to help us catch but he merely replied "huh, got meh? dont have la" and proceeded to talk to his fren at the door.
LOSER LEH KENNETH!!
in the end, ms hero kahmariah had to capture mr juicy brown thing for us, thanks :D

Last but not least, today is Mr Tan Puay Boon's birthday.
Nothing facny to fantacise him, but oh well, full dress rehearsal to salute the new 20 year old in the block.
Cool reaction from him today, when we all asked why he so dao. HAHA.
Happy Birday boonie, you have been a great friend since year one,
minus all the blueblacks you've caused and have stopped causing.
but you know its oaky because its how you show ppl that you love them and i understand one.
and thank you for being there to correct me when imwrong.
dont stress oaky,anything talk to us. breath and relax.
omg, im talking like chef fum and this is going nowhere.
hpapy britdhay aigan :)


*points up, you know a normal human being can interprete this as long as the first and alst letter are in place. i bet ahboon cannot lor.
HAHAHAHAHAHA :D LOVE YOU LA, because we are one love!

I love vintage & rouge-.

30

Monday, May 26, 2008

Hellooo :)

I have been pretty good lately, staying home on the weekends to pay my dues.. to the textbook that is.
Life is tough being a student, but nothing beats tough like 2.2, shunders at the thought of it.
Sunday was jam packed action with my coloured pens and recycled paper storing fnb notes into my head.
Starbucks with baby and met kahyuen, belle and liyi at compass for some walk around.
Had my usual craving for Eu Yan Sang Herbal Egg and I completed 4 lectures that day, SLOW.

Today was fnb test, home-d..
There's still so many on the list, interview, presentation, test, assignment due.
SIGH, can time stop?

I know this is a really boooorrrriiiiiinngg entry but i am going to miss this kinda entry in erm.. less than 3 months?
So read while you still can :)

Oh yes oh yes, before I leave, here's to the birth of my new N6500 classic phone!
Wanted to get the music one or 6500 slim, but nah, no offer and there's some great deals at Singtel.
I got mine with baby's $50 voucher and Early Upgrade coupon!
Yeahness :D
its kinda fat, with some zitt zitt effect like its having an electric shock, but its sleeq and black and nice and i love it!
Probably going back to ask what's wrong with blackie (thats her name) and prob get it fixed!

Till then, vote for those people you think are worth being in that position!
Happy Birthday in Advance Best Buddy Forever Glenn Michael Sandhu!
I love you!


but I love baby more! :D

I love vintage & rouge-.

30

Saturday, May 24, 2008

This is like the 3rd entry for the day, explains so much about my lonely saturday.
Facing the computer copying information from the net and calling them your research.
This is the way institutions teaches us now.
Ubber-boring.

And on the angry note,
you knew your mistake and thats all that matters now.


on a happier note,
mark just introduced me to this girl on youtube, hot and she can sing!
this cover sucked but try the others yeah?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntk6-z7BOiM&feature=related
also, mayfen showed me this hilarious video, haha, enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIW8WfqoJUA

i want food :(

I love vintage & rouge-.

30

Kim wants..

1) A dustbin with covers to place in her room so she can stop throwing out plastic bags that are not yet full, shouts NON-BIODEGRADABLE

2) Waraku one again

3) Starfucks Green Tea Latte

4) Food for Thought Red Velvet Cake!

5) $$$ for GSS and BakingDay/ Week/ Month

6) That friday meeting with OL, because she simply misses them. (*queues the tear at the corner of the eye to stop moving)

7) That lunch with Jacq and Maybelle after procrastinating for 3 yrs...

8) Meet darylyn only, without any !#$, after hmmm,7 years of friendship :(

9) A freakking cupboard

10) All expenses paid trip to BKK for pure goodness shopping with baby!

11) Stop time so deadlines would come only when I want to..


HELLYEAH :)

I love vintage & rouge-.

30

okay, so i am supposed to be stuck at home doing work whilst nic is at his P Group party with the gang.
Roar, weekends are oh-so-boring nowadays :(

there's plenty to complete

1) Research for DPD, F&B, MICE, Lodging
2) Article Review
3) Revamp my presentation
4) Check out guest lecture
5) Calculus h/w, done actually... (i seriously shld have taken A&f)
6) STUDY FOR OPS AND MICE TEST!!!

zomg, we're gonna nail this.

last sem, lets go!



Was thinking I'll end off there but wait..
I've burnt way too many bridges before I've built other stronger ones.
Hold on a minute, why would you even want to burnt those bridges because you'll get a chance to walk through them next time?
I dont know, I dont know alot, all the time, signature sentence, because I simply dont know.
It really hurts to think back at the mistakes I've said, done or made
That is, to burn the many bridges I couldnt event keep track
Right now, I felt that I've built one or two, rebuilding that trust and happiness we once had.
Its tough but I really hate myself for the number of bridges I've burnt my entire life.
I hate myself so much it hurts to look at my past.

Cheryl Jiang, the one who's with me since Sec1 to Sec4,
but we dont contact each other now because she's at JC and we dont communicate other than in class.
I really do miss her,
like how I'll let her know my darkest secrets during chin class, the only time i sat with her
like how I'll sms her to wish her all the best and to study hard
like how she'll religiously give me a present for my bday, because she's 2 days olders.
like how she always joke that shes my jiejie and she must take care of me
like how she'll say how fortunate i am to be able to run so fast, because of her health reasons, she cant.
like how she made me study so hard for Chin Olvls (because I hate it) and to attempt to achieve for an A, but I only made it for a B3.
I cried because I know I could do well, but she told me she knew I did my best.
When I threw my wallet on the floor upon hearing I got 35 points for Prelims 1,
I broke my mirror that I had with me since I was... 1?
She told me its okay and to give my best in the next prelim and offered to buy my back a mirror and to pray that nothing bad would happen to me
When I took back my results for the second prelim, I got 25 points.
I cried on my way to the toilet again, when I was back in class, she whispered:" I know you did yr best, still got time for Os, look! at least you improved 10 points right? "
When we got our results for Os, we cried together. Prob cause of the good grades, prob because its the last day of school togehter and the last time she'll be taking her report book/ results, taking a paper, oral test, wishing each other good luck, before me, with me.

She sat in front of me for 2 years, small test, main examninations, oral, take register, take report book la, whatever shit la, she was always there.
The girl whom you will never notice when you walk into class, quiet, reserved and smart.
I love my friend so much, I miss her all the time.

Like her, I regret not keeping in contact with many others
Even those in TP, whom I see everyday, I really miss SJC alot.
Everyday with those girls screaming and having fun and bonding.
Just a 'hi' or 'bye' will not go pass as something we've once had.
Please,lets meetup.

I love vintage & rouge-.

30

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Hello World.

I really must say that detest those idiots who sit on the outer seats on the bus
Like hello, we know you want to seat, but so do others okay.
Sit inside and not trouble the others to slide in la.

Oh well, today was the last of Graduation Ceremony.
Too bad we couldnt help out for design shows :(
anyway, I must really say how adorable my partner is.
He'll really dance in the midddle of the ceremony,
some waltz thing and a shake booty kinda dance
he is weeeeeeeerrrrrrriiiiddddddddddddd
but still, thank you so much for being such a great partner! :D

chicpeapotpiehatchalittlecock.
whats that. who knows.
i love baby, he's the man.
thrusts boobs into his face and hugs tight.

I love vintage & rouge-.

30

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Oh dear,
I have this sudden urge to change to LJ,
I know, I am probably the only living soul who is still supporting blogger.
oh yes, please check out DTservices.blogspot.com!
correct sock?
haha!

Anyway, ysterday was a hell of a day, so many activites packed into one
I finally brought lappy to school and man, it was such a big distraction
the 2 hr break was not put to good use because XX, YX and I were bitching
I couldnt think of another time we all 3 have raised our voices that loud shreeking at
the disgusting and bitchy things we read or saw, HAH!
And more online shopping, hoots!
I thought I could really buy some since I was working for Mahbubahni that night


But man was I wrong...
I freakkin hell forgot to take my laptop and I onloy realised it when we reached sock's hse.
Poor sock offered to follow the pacnicky me all the way back to Roseburn Rd from Poh Huat Rd.
thank you sock, but the limousine services aka ex-policeman uncle was damn nice
:D
so was the bill...
it was only 7 bucks odd at her hse and when i reached home after 3 trips,
it hit 30 bucks.
awwognmsbeofjngghnf!#dna@!!#
ARGH :(

oh well, this is revenge for a overly paid job.


today was baby's graduation ceremony,
we cabbed to school together and haha, was late
Jia Juin and I were freeekkkin pissed at the woman who keeps on stealing our job.
asdfgjherfigbjvc, banana.
He attempted to strangle her in view of the entire BUS faculty,
good job ah boy.
He placed his hands in his pocket when he saw Mr Tai,
double good job boy
He slouched and everyhthing in front of the entire class of 2008 and parents,
triple good job ah boy.
HAHA! but it was fun, good job partner!

argh, was a tat bit (NOT!) frustrated and annoyed by someone today.
but shall not dwell about it, because... ah, no point la.
:) slight improvements baby!

all in all, i hate to see the htm seniors go.
they are such a united and cheerful bunch
they are what htm students really mean
someone you can hold a conversation with for more than 10 mins
someone you can say hi without giving you the fcuked up look along the streets
someone you can count on to do stunts at the very formal graduation ceremony.
wouldn't it be great if ours were half as untied as them?

sigh, this leads me to another matter so important i feel the need to post about.
i cannot stand this competitveness thing going on,
like hello, we may be resting but we are not deaf
esspecially me even if my head hurts like mad.
since this is what you want, alright then, PREPAREFORWAR!!
HAHAHAH, i can totally imagine the girls laughing now
if you are not, you are totally losing out.. yes, yingxiu,talking abt you...

HAHA:D
last semester, all i pray for is good grades, good friends, good time

I love vintage & rouge-.

30

Monday, May 19, 2008

I am currently having a very bad craving for green tea latte.
& I would really love to have an affair with a well-equipped kitchen like TCA
omgomgogmgomgomgomg, food porn is so good!

Ah, this guy is yaking on about MICE lecture and i freakking have no idea what on earth he is talking about.
and no lecture notes, tried using the ole-bb,
googjob, not concentrating at all!
:D

ohwell, people, I AM CURRENTLY STARTING A "HELP KIM START BAKING" FUND!
if you feel nice today, please get me anything that you know a baker would need!
because this poor girl doesnt even have an oven in her freakin kitchen, (spoil ma)
and i guess i only have salt, baking poweder (sis bought it), vanilla essence.
I guess thats all,
hmmm, monetary donations are pretty good too, only its prob a lil risky
it might end up soemwhere besides the cashier at Phoon Huat!
dying for some Baileys Mint Choco Cookies or Red Velvet Cupcakes?
PLEASE START DONATING NOW!!

pleasedo:)

I love vintage & rouge-.

30

:(

jiamin, xx, yingxiu, seowhui, steph and khairah.
I will give in my all for projects this semester because I know its the last sem.
Lets all work hard towards better gpa okay?
whatever competitive and all going on, dont care.
we whack As and Zs only.
I will learn to be a better team player even if it takes away a piece of my flesh.
I dont want to regret no more.
Because I want my last project group to be a blast.
We are gonna be dabomb.

I love vintage & rouge-.

30

Sunday, May 18, 2008

There are many perceptions lingering around a certain issues
and this happened to be the difference between both perceptions
Anyone is entitled to their own opinions
But I guess thats when fights and wars breaks out
People disagree, they fight, tanks, rifles, cannons, bomb, bang, they die, everybody die.

Haha Justin, thanks alot for the tank- soldiers thing.
Haha Fazly, thank you for being there to tell me its Happy Vesak Day
Haha Choi, thank you for telling me its okay.

Haha, its the 19th, I should be smiling.

I love vintage & rouge-.

30

Today, I woke up late for the first time in 3 months.
Probably the best thing ever this entire week
And I waited for the bf to call since he went home late last night,
without giving me sms telling me he's home. hmmm.
& I found out he woke up way way before I did, haha.
Like huh, dont care ah, nvm.

So he made his way down to my house,
And I saw this big grey bag, in it was a big brown box with a big red ribbon tied neatly on top
whoohooo, i love it baby.
thank you :)
Happy Anniversary!

Tonight was teochew porridge and grapevine to visit sock!
Hmm, the WANTED, PARTTIME WAITRESS sign was pretty tempting.



You know how you've typed a wrong letter and you would click the delete button?
Sometimes I wish I could do that too,
But somehow, you know it can only happen in the virtual world.
Still, I would really like to see what was in that deleted text msg and
Before that, I would really want to delete what I've typed
I just need some time alone

I love vintage & rouge-.

30

Saturday, May 17, 2008

So many things I want to say, but somehow, it stays inside.

Today was the last event of TPSU AY 2007/ 08,
TPSU Sub Comm Appreciation Dinner, I missed my subcomm appreciation last year.
And this year, Im glad I played a part to organise it.
It was definitely difficult trying to find someone to order the foood because John and I are so scared to do it, haha!
Anyway, I am really pleased with everyone who attended, thank you so much for lasting till the very end.
Like what John said, we (excos) wouldnt survive if it wasnt for every single one of you.
We understand if many could not attend due to some reasons, we understand if you cannot be there to help for every event, because I understand that you too would have other things to deal with.
But still, thank you to every 181 of our sub comms who helped us out in any way or other.
Even helping us to spread the passion, or to accompany me to the toilet, it counts alot.

Thank you Sub Comms!!

Today, it would probably mark the last day I can step into the lounge, the sub comm area, the exco room.
To access to the photocopy machine,
to write on the white board,
to ahem shirts of past FO,
to help K take her black files,
to watch edwin open his finance cupboard,
to step into the store that GLENN, CHRISS AND GIDEON helped clean up to let 4 ppl sleep in,
to touch my exco file and wonder why on earth is it thicker than anyone else's? i didnt do shit.
to access the computer looking through my files at my PRES folder.
to look at hot tennis people playing tennis through the tiny window at the room
to access the pantry to a spider web infested area and to enjoy a cup of cold water without disgusting taste of the watercooler, we have our own cooler
to sit at the table that resembles the letter"U", united, universal, union
to read newspaper at sub comm area
to shout and scream at everyone who walked past me,
to walk into the lounge and make a face when that smell and the sight of a messy lounge hits me
to see familiar faces that i can count on whenever i need a smile
to sit at the table looking at 30 odd faces staring at me, giving me their full attention to what i am about to say
to close the pool table, clean the pool board, push in the red chairs and be the last to leave the lounge
how long have i not done all these, i dont know,
but i knw i am going to miss every single moment in the lounge.

I couldnt control but cry when I was giving out the certs to our subcomms,
because this is the end.
This year, hasnt really been kind on me.
Or rather, I havent been kind on myself.
Right from the start, i knew it would be a challenge, coping with everything
and weeks after the commencement of the term of service,
reality hit me hard in the face.
I know what i threw myself into,
i tried to be strong and stay with my decision,
I stayed up all night coping with homework and union work,
I had sleepless nights thinking how to bring union to greater heights.
I guess, I tried.
But trying wasnt enough.

we have come along way.
For whatever I have done to the committee and union, I apopogise for all the wrong doings.
Even though I have my own reasons behind everything I do, I know its hard to get everyone's understanding or to think along my line.
On the bus back, I was constantly thinking about who or what casued this,
And I finally decided that it was time i stopped blaming the ants and hamsters and that it was me,
I guess I can only blame myself for whatever that happened.
I loved union with all my heart, I would give everything I have in change for a seat in the committee.
And so I did, and now I understand wht ahlam alwasy say by its not the same as when you are in here.
I was too strong headed for the comments given to me
I was to blame for the bridges I have burnt down myself
I was too tactless and insensitive for whatever I have done
I placed friendship before everything, therefore, whatever that happened in the meeting room, affected me too much, even if i lied myself to sleep that night.
Probably, this was the reason why I feel this way today.
My love killed the only love I had.
See, I can only blame one person and thats me
and I understand perfectly if you do.

I know I have disappointed many more people than I could have known,
And that 600 odd people who voted might be doubting their decision they made a year ago.
But I know, that I could have given so much more, this is not all that I can give.
If I could, I would give it my all.
But it was because I couldnt cross that barrier I installed within me,
the barrier that made me wary of everyone ard me because I've seen or heard too much.
the barrier that made me refuse to realise the fact that there is no friendship but only business in the room.
This is all but how I felt since the beginning, that Union should be a place where everyone comes together, a place of love, one big family.
I was too naive, and so, as the days go by, I begin to be numb to whatever that happened and did only work
Guess, thats why it was pretty emotionless already, which was leading to nothingness.

But at the end of the day, I left the room knowing that I have learnt many lessons in life.
It has indeed been a fulfilling and wonderful experience for me this AY
with the many capable and wonderful excos, who coped with working with a diff person likeme
with the numeroous subcomms who would give anything they could for union.
I know that no amount of tears can express the regrets I feel,
no amount of thank you can express the gratitude I feel,
no amount of words can express how I feel
But I know the one fact is that given a chance again, I would not make this mistake.
I would choose what my heart tells me, not the head.
Maybe what KS said in the sms I read was right, I was too hypocritical to go ahead with my decision despite knowing what would happen, i guess i shouldnt have?

Union is probably the place I lost my voice the most number of times
Union is probably the place people call me FAT the most number of times
Union is probably the place I played pool the most number of times
Union is probably the place I've seen that many people coming together to cry
Union is probably the place where I saw that many guys cry, haha, GLENN!
Union is probably the place I've learnt that many lessons of life
Union is probably the place I've met the people who'll stay with me for life
Union is probably the place that lifted those curtains that shield my eyes
Union is probably the place I've felt that mix of emotions, anticipation, love, sadness, accomplishment, achievement and belongingness
Union is probably the place I've made a name for myself (good and bad?)
Union is probably the place I made so many friends
Union is probably the place I will remeber for the rest of my life
Union is probably the place that I cried the most number of times
Union is probably the place I meet the best people in Temasek Polytechnic.

Many a times, things that happen in this place will affect me.
But like what she says, knowing that feeling emotional about things, meant that I still feel for the place.
I still do, but I know that if I was more professional with dealing with things, I would be a better president, a better committee member, a better person.
Like how upset I was when someone mentioned about my absence from Week0, but telling me how that person understands after reading the article and hearing of my win, Ireally had no choice because there was a swap just one week before the competition.
Like how upset when she told me abt her selective hearing, I know why i sneezed that many times everyday.
Like how upset after reading KS' msg.
Like how upset I was after everything..
I know its becasue all these were nothing but mere feelings.

Above and beyond, I am both relieved and glad to hear that someone whom i respect so much, commentins that it was a good start and end. even though i hadnt given the all i could, I know. but still, thank you.

Im not too sure if any of you reading this would feel angry or anything, but this is something i have kept in for a very long time. so thank you for understanding why i had to let it out. and im not sure if you've misunderstood me, i still love union very much, and i guess i've seen the ugly sides of things. but still, i really love the place alot. especially the people. they have led me to many wonderful beginnings and experiences, like zilra.

thank you glenn, sarah, yuting, maybelin, john, ger, von, hakim, farhan, tat, edwin, jingwen, kahyuen, luffy, weng, ron, shawn, gibson, farah, ella, em, clad, zain, eugene, jacq, dionne, amanda, ashley, amos, issac, dorothy, jessy, joan, benchow, alvin ting, clifton, sufong, ben cheng, xiu hui, elene, sunny, grace, denise, jacintha, sean, kc, brandon, honglin, jesselyn, neoneo, vivian, joker, gerald, hanlin, shep, not forgetting, derek, kay, shaz, fang and eric and everyone else.

last, i love everyone from TPSU and thank you TP for creating this wonderful palce called TPSU.
i love TPSU.



I have struggled long and hard enough to decide when and whether I should post something like this, I hope that whatever I've said would not stimulate any negative feedbacks. If I did, Im sorry. I really hope you'll understand that this would be the closing of my entire life in TPSU, and it is purely how I feel after these 2 years. Ilovetpsu.

I love vintage & rouge-.

30

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

suppose this is what you get even if they agreed to another year of adventure?
To do nothing at all? where is the initiative?
Why should redundant (more or less?) people like us take the heat right now?
Whatever crap and all, I suppose they want it to die off now
& attmept to relight it when spring comes along?

Whatever it is, we are giving it all.
The last has come, we must face it, event if tears may flow,
Let it flow, because at the end, its these wonderful memories that counts the most.
Let not these memories you aren't fond of haunt you, let the day be the best day you've ever experienced.


I want to let Lai Kahyuen know that she will always be my best Patrick Partner (PP), K sisters, Giodarno freak, Zilra freshie, HTM freshie, 27 gangmate, sister on Earth.
And I never will want our friendship to end.

A dedication to One Love, yelling right into kenny's face, whacking Kri's elmo-looking nehneh, floping ah meng's lesser-flab tummy, pinching pohsuan's thunder-arms, slapping ah boon's slender moisturised/tone-d face and tickling sock all over the place, that I really miss all of you!

Also to Glenn Micheal Sandhu Son of Mr Calculate How Much Oil SIA Planes Will Need for A Journey Else They Will Fall From the Skies, that I miss him terribly and hope he is doing well at his last month at SAA. Also noting that the outing I owed him is reaching its one year's deal.. your birthday :)

Not forgetting, to the most important person ever, who have stood by me through thunderstorms and cyclones.
No matter what happens, baby, I want you by my side.
I love you Nicholas Chua Cher Liang :D

Last but not least, to Ms Chew Chian Lin, also known as my sister,
that I really miss having her around, I would trade anything besides food for her to be here with us on Mummy's birthday dinner, and that I hope she will take care of herself.
Sister, last month, enjoy your freedom before its gone, you know what I mean!

And, to Zilra, Fyrhto, Centis, Maybelle, Jacqueline (secrets better unfold hor), SU, Joan (my chem buddy, happy birthday!), anyone reading my blog secretly, Have a good day ahead of you!

I love vintage & rouge-.

30

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

I guess sometimes, all we need is for others to be more sensitive.
I thought what we experienced last year would be a lesson for all of us.
It stopped my heart, watching those tears flow by.
I know that I could have done my part to help them stay where they were
But I guess, we have given too much to make it happen, and so it did.

This year, I thought things would be different,
With each other undersanding one another more.
But I guess some things are still left unchanged.
And I am disgusted and frustrated by how insensitive one can get.
Not that I want to loose it and show faces, sometimes its just too much.
Everyone needs to take more initiative, sometimes its just too tiring to make the first move all the time.
Sometimes one needs to rephrase your words more carefully, stop being so tactless.
It was what brought us that much trouble in the past.
I guess, you can say that a leopard never changes its spots ( or was that a cheetah?)
but still, when that many humans coming together and keeping mum,
something must be terribly wrong.

It might be my fault to contribute to the awkward silence,
but have one ever thought who or what dampened the spirits and demoralised everyone else's?
I saw how one was trying desperately to say something but held back, afraid that something nasty, a look or hurtful words that may seem causal to you, will be thrown her way.
Isn't it sad, isn't it sad?

Let's think about it.
Tomorrow will be a better day.

I love vintage & rouge-.

30

Monday, May 12, 2008

i think today is the first time i painted my nails in record breaking time = 10 minutes only.
ugly nails.

I love vintage & rouge-.

30

Sunday, May 11, 2008

I love vintage & rouge-.

30

Saturday, May 10, 2008

i found it.
time: 2.46 am
verdict: not worth it, and he still says that.
mood: really bad, i dont want to talk to anyone.

does looks really matter that much, i know there are many out there who are putted down too many a times in life, because of their looks. does it matter at all? yes, you'll get stares and glances if you walk down the street with this hotie you have beside you. but does it matter?
does it please you to see that these people you've made fun of suffer from all these emotional stress of being prettier, slimmer or darker? these scars you have left in them will stay with them forever. doesnt it hurt you to see no connection between a child and her mother? i am blessed to have a loving mother, she love everyinch of me because it is what she had beared. she will tell me how beautiful i am even if it is only in her eyes, but its okay, because i know i am in her eyes. she will tell me how i've inherited dad's big built and its not because im fat, it okay, because i know i can lift every weight i want to lift in the gym and pump anymore than anyone i want to. doesnt it pain you to see this not happening to anyone? gender makes no difference. does it excites you to watch one poking fun of people you have not met, only because she was part of his life? life is too short to make enemies, why bother giving the devil one more reason to bring you with him? there are far too many matters to think about and to talk about with the speed my mind wanders off to think about things that wouldnt improve my grades, but i know, i do know that it will change my mindset, it will change who i am and what i do, for the better, i hope.

why do people fight in wars, dont they know what these will lead to? those scenes of armless men, people fighting and firing at the boy's legs just to have his cattle, leaving him with no legs. where is the humanity you've been talking about? refuge camps all around the country, why havent you do anything to help them. love, sorrow, coming of age, pain. there's too much sorrow in the world, why did God leave them in such climate, such environment, such siutuation and have given us so much to live for, we've got electricity, water, food and money. why havent we given them as much as we've received. who needs lulu guiness cute bags, jimmy choo shoes and naf naf clothes? why do we need them at all? why isnt there equality in the country, where is democracy, give them what they need, shelter.

i think there's much to do. simple gestures like givng up your seat really counts alot in this really selfish, cruel and heartless world. you only remember to do good deeds when remined. you shun when people carrying "free hugs" signs come walking towards you. you dont take flyers distributed to you because they are annoying but not knowing that taking it will allow that aunty to leave for home sooner. you dont flush the toilet and even worse, using yr feet to press the flush like no one else will use it. you leave the trays from the cafe on the seats of the next table as if no one needs the seat. im no saint, but these are things i see within a day, enought to keep me awake thinking if i've done anything like that for my own convenience and to trouble someone esle. have you, today?

I love vintage & rouge-.

30

"Sometimes I wish time would come to a standstill, so I can look around and fix things up before the motor starts running again, because it's hard to fix things when change is so constant. "

The best quote to sum up how I feel today, I feel like a rich taitai surrounded by great friends and a hot chef.
But the quote had to come from someone i-oh-so-despise.
screw you for reading the blog all day, serves you right you had gastric

alright, today was the day.
met up with matthew and legendary micheal han.
heard alot more about the upcoming restaurant, fiftythree (if im not wrong?)
i think its the best concept i've ever seen, not thati've seen alot
not gonna spill the beans, so, sit tight till prob july when the restaurant opens.
it'll definitely knock you off your seat.

we had lunch at the marmalade pantry, no pictures because er, its not nice taking photos with yr first met with your future boss - probably?
ah, when we heard about MH from matt a while ago,
you would have thought that he's big, fat, ugly and intimidating.
but no no, you are oh-so wrong.

waiting patiently, not, at the table of five for the big boss to come
matt went on to talk about his exciting adventures to the farm with MH the day before
pretty cool stuff you think.
then came this man, white ralph lauren polo tee, causual jeans (damn, didnt get to see what jeans), shoes.
holding a box, title reads "MacBook", the new laptop for matt at the rest.
the other, holding so effortlessly, where we found out that it was the Macbook air.
its so slim, god, even slimmer than a shave of truffle (NOT!)
he speaks, not audible, guess its somethnig you must do to be in this industry..

leaving TMP, we made our way back to Les Amis
awaiting the next heartstopping meeting with Randy, the man himself.
and micheal bends down in front of the Thai Ambassy,
not to tie his shoelace, not to pick up a coin he dropped.
he bent down to pluck off a leaf planted wildly outside the ambassy.
and then, he breaks it, placing it into his mouth.
he turns and looks at a awestruck krissy, "Pepperleaf, want to try?"
krissy reached out for it, entrusting her life on him and placed it in her mouth.
so did sock and i, matt looks at us and walks on as if it happens all the time, i guess it does with micheal?
"not bad", krissy told him and walks on.
HAHA. MICHEAL IS SO COOL!!!!
plus, i think he's pretty hot and smart and rich and creative and daring, an entrepreneur.

talk with randy was intimidating, but was a great experience.
as we went on, i realised why i was here.
because of the many talents dedicated to teaching and educating students like us.
He who does his work with passion, yearns to improve the industry, started by educating and teaching the young.
He discovers talents and help them to seek the answers to the questions they have doubted themselves with
HE brought us here, to what we have becomed.
old school will always be the best school.
Like what Randy said, "Mr Goh has given alot to this industry, (inserts names i cant rmb.. doing great things in this industry, wine writer, some in shanghai, hk, etc)
we call ourselves the Mr Goh's Boys, and it is wonderful what he is doing right now,
educating and grooming future talents at a young age.
You three girls are very lucky to have him as your tutor"
And I am proud to have been taught by him.

God, I dont know what is wrong with my body these days,
I will just fall into deep sleep whenever my body feels tired,
and it happens within minutes, I would feel like every movement people make around me is draining me away from reality.
I feel asleep for a full 2o mins not aware of my surundings, in zl's car.
this happened on bus 27 all the time,
one day, i might be kidnapped and raped and raped again if this continues.
So I went home, thinking i was going to take a nap beofre meeting KY for Zilra dinner.
But no, I slept all the way to ten. so here i am.
this happened ystd as well.
what is wrong with me?
I think I am terminally ill.
like would anyone care.



fucking hate myself for letting her interfere in my life,
i feel so fucking stupid.
alright, i know she's smarter, skinnier and probably prettier,
but i still so fucking hate it when i visit that place
to see how well she's doing without you,
but you know, we are not.
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,fuck
fuck.

I love vintage & rouge-.

30

Friday, May 09, 2008

Congratulations to Cher Liang for surprising me the other day at school.
Because this heartless bf have NEVER EVER fetched me from school,
well I mean, I know everyone makes a face at those bfs who comes all the way to fetch their gf and all,
but come on, we need to feel loved sometimes too okay.
Yes, he finally got the message.

But the only thing was the surprise.
We were supposed to meet at sk for quick dinner before i work on my OSIP report
and haha, when I boarded 23, I received this msg from him saying he was behind em but couldnt get on the bus.
It was damn hilarious.
Oh well, its the thought that counts.
Nownow, next stop, maybe a trip to the florist?

Oh, and congratulations to baby for passing IPPT :D
great job baby!


OSIP application has been sent in, no more regrets.
Altoether, 10 positions, more than 40 applicants now I guess?
Oh well, any way out I have a back up plan that might somehow become THE plan.
All lies in tmr, the meeting with the shareholder, the manager and the boss.
I am so excited.
I am certain the boss has great convincing skills, saving me from despair.
no more thnking tmr.
lets see what we can do with that.

I love vintage & rouge-.

30

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

"THey have to work, they have to work for a living."
It's the msot imporatnt thing in the world.
You don't do your children any favours by letting them
have money without having to work for it.

- Nigella Lawson


Absolutely true, the father of my kids will have to agree with that
& I am certian he already have agreed to this.
No point feeding my son with clams and he dont even know it came from a shell.
No point feeding my daughter morrels and not knowing its a mushroom.
No point, no point.

I love vintage & rouge-.

30

Monday, May 05, 2008

Okay, many would know that this blog is almost useless,
if you want to hear what really is bothering me, please just ask me
Just because of that, I think its time I record down how I feel and what has been creating an impact in my life,
So when I read back 5 years from now, I would still remember where I came from..

Oh well, cut the crap.

Today was the Celebration Dinner with the TCA faulty, TDT girls and 2 to Tango (only one)!
Had Japanese Buffet at Hanabi over at Katong Mall.
It was pretty funny that the host was unable to locate the restaurant when it was right before him.
Way to go Mr Tan, kidding (:
The food was alright, I guess the restaurant felt intimidated,
With that many fnb personnels and chefs, even CIA chefs dining at their private room
creating an enormous amount of noise pollution.
One clap to the girls for the thoughtful gifts while I selfishly watched Ironman with the man who is entering the NS.

We got Honey and a giant bow tie in GOLD for Mr Goh
We've got Mr Sim some Vitagen, only becuase he likes it and a bear sign
Mr Chia a pair of black socks and a smaller pair of pink socks
Ms Mark some special lacy stockings to shock the SSM kids
And Chef Joyce her favourite preserved tidbits and her Recycle bags!

The other chefs and instructors got very personalised cards as well,
Mr malik got his wooden van artiscally drawn by yours truly
Chef Fum had his envolope decorated with my fantastically drawn butterfly (in pink and purple)
Neo neo for having the most informal thank you msg I've ever written to an adult.
One Clap to TCA and her wonderful pool of experts!

The dinner ended in a high note, with the gifts all given and revealed to the gang
With many speeches that left us with tears welling up in our eyes.
Why like compo ah? I guess I'm getting prepared..

Chef Joyce came up with the golden question, where do you want to go for SIP?
And er... 2/3 of the table replied in a unison voice, MALDIVES!
All except for me, I thought long and hard, what was the reason that I wanted to stay in Spore?
Because I was afraid that I couldnt secure that job at LA in the near future,
because I didnt want to try out something else, I guess, 'boon's always feel comfortable in what they are doing.. OPPS.
Because I thought that I wouldnt last in hotels, and FO, without even giving it a shot.
Because I thought that leaving spore for that little pay was a waste of time, that I could earn 2 times more a month in spore.
Because I was convinced by the mother that staying in spore is good, probably because she couldnt afford sending me there.
Because there is a boyfriend serving the nation that I need to contact to each day
Because I was blinded by the fnb industry with all its fame and glory.

Like what chef joyce said, this 5 months is only the beginnning of our career in this industry,
how many people would die to be in our positions right now, (not many but a few...)
and we are all still young, this country is very small.
With its fnb industry, it is only growing, not moving at a fast pace, but it is growing...
What we have right now, LA as best rest, Iggy's as 77th best rest in the world, there are so much more in the world.
Eventually, one has to move out of this small country to seek new opportunities, like how Mr Chan travels the world just to help place his rest in a competitive edge, isnt it?
Living alone, without the comforts of home and the convenience of a lifetime maid (your MOTHER), is gonna be a challenge, a challenge to yourself and you only.
Ultimately, they would leave you to run your own family one day, and independence should be earned at any age.
If I dont leave the house now to try all these different jobs at different places, when will I do it?
After SIP? who would be so kind to offer you a chance like this?
In addition, what happened to all the childhood dreams of travelling to South Africa to volunteer and all those samaritan acts? Hello kimberly, who are you now?
Besides, this 5 months doesnt mean you are settled with whatever you've decided for 5 years.
If all else fails, I still can move back to my comfort zone.
Plus, this amount of experience will make me grow and learn more about this industry and myself.
Maybe the opportunity might slip by, but like what they say, one door closes on you, another opens.
I guess this is the time where I decide which door I would like to open.

Many a times, people are blinded by the offers placed before them, be it monetary or fame.
But what really matters is the experiences we learn along the way.
This FHA award really doesnt mean anything to anyone after it has passed by for a week, hasnt it?
Singapore expo was filled with excited people ystd, not for any fnb purposes but for the Metro sale, just the same as how our poise and flair will be forgotten within weeks, hours, even minutes.
How many people will actually remember what I did for Brandy Alexander? flair and all
How many would remember the milk bath?
How many would?
I guess, only the 6 of us and the whole TCA faculty.

That is the reason why we chose to stay humble about this win, because it was only something that we proved ourselves to be.
To be TCA standards and to show them what Old School ahve taught us.
This belief will stay with us for the longest of time.

As for SIP, I guess, this is the only chance that will be thrown my way
With the amount of experience thrown my way, I would be able to take the heat and literally, the heat from the island.
Hoping that I will not be very much affected by the culture and the standards of living,
I will be succesful with the application and come back stronger than ever.

I hope and pray that the decision is right, with them supporting me.
I'm sure it would.
-

Told mum about OSIP, not very positive feedbacks.
Her first question was about the money, its okay, sell your LV bag and get 100 bucks lor.
Oh, and with much research I found out my LV bag is 14 yrs old, mum bought it in 1994!!
anyway, yes.
Monetary terms we are talking about.
With sister abroad travelling to a million places over Europe, it has certainly burnt a hole in their pockets.
Plus, she had a schloarship to support her overseas exchange prog,
now, what about me?
I couldn't even afford a toothbrush with the amount of money in my bank.
Let alone travelling expenses, living expenses, allowance and everything.

Not happy about me in the fnb industry,
not happy with me trying osip in hotels.
what more does she want from me?
I really do know what lies ahead for me,
I really dont want to take over daddy (god father's) chain of restaurants not worth helping..
only because its not entirely his.
like what krissy says, if a michelin restaurant offers her a job halfway round the world, she would go for it.
that is the amount of confidence and trust i need to have in myself,
but i know its impossible for my family.
To think that when I brought the gold medal home, no one freakking cared..
My daddy even asked if its a bronze, instead of a gold.
My ah ma thought that I was lying to her.
Great forms of encouragement.
Because everything I commit myself to in school, besides studies is crap to them.
I should just quite school and become a freakking accountant and count money in front of them to make them happy la.

oh well, i choose my own path, hopefully without much hesitation, my decision will stop swaying and I will be where I want to be.

I love vintage & rouge-.

30

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Many people seek meaning in life with bombastic vocabulary,
but I choose to describe mine with simple words, happy.

I love vintage & rouge-.

30

&profilo

KIMBERLY CHEW :D
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CHIJ St.Joseph's Convent
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