many a times, i am mistaken for whatever i have said or done. many a times, i am true for whatever i have said or done. many a times, many a times.
this is life, we make do.
in life, we gain some and we lose some. just that, i've lost more. if i tell you im happy, will you smile and say, "I'm happy for you"? if i tell you im sad, will you frown and ask, "What can I do for you"? if i tell you im excited, will you mimick me and jump up and down? or will you just, "orh." and walk away? i guess i guess, its what happens when you place friendship into the big circle.
im sad.
6:54 AM
I lovevintage & rouge-.
30
Monday, January 28, 2008
I'm freaking annoyed. those girls at OHVOLA have better reserved the dress for me. I freaking laid my eyes on them first. She had better reserved for me. Its not my freaking fault she replied me one day later. F**K ONLINE SHOPPING, I WANT IT THAT BADLYYY!
Screw all dead buyers and sellers alright. Krii, we had better not be like them. Else, I'll give them a refund or something.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF..KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
ROAR!
10:19 PM
I lovevintage & rouge-.
30
Sunday, January 27, 2008
while at work with CRS report, I was constantly distracted by the senrenity and calmness MY (highlight and bolded) customer will be at my resort. that was my untimate aim, to enjoy and let them enjoy.
& it really came to me that that is what I really want right now. To break away from school stress, nonsensical matters and just things that draws me away from being me. & I always think of my friends who dont do this and that, that I do. and if they'll make me any happier. I do. I honestly do.
Sometimes we decide on many things because of greed. Sometimes we chose this over another because of avidity Sometimes we talk about the bad and not the good because of acceptance, or any form of agreement
Everyone is a teacher in your life, who says you cant teach? because whether its good or bad, you learn from them. You walk in other people's life just so you can experience how different their lifes will be And now, I want to walk in a path that is different from who I am and what I am right now. But I'm scared, but I know that if you have faith and trust and believe that this path you are about to take is the right path. Go for it, because there'll be so many people who will understand and will walk this path with you. But there will be many who questions your answer But this is the time you shine and you tell them via your actions that its the right path you have chosen for yourself.
Hospitality and Tourism Management, its the path that I have taken. Nothing will stop me in 08/09, I want to shine. Let me get into the top Internship companies and emerge with an outstanding resume. Let me not only get good grade but learn and benefit from them. Let me inspire others to get into this line and to let other benefit from the hard work my lecturers have putted in, on us. Let me not only serve but entertain people without dampening my status or principles. Let me learn/ work/ (clean) as I go, with the competition thats in store for us. Let me be the best that I can be.
TDT, HTM, chewfamily, nicholaschuacherliang, onelove, 1H02, 2H10, lonersgang, sjcbadminton, zilra, frytho, tpsuexcos0708, tpsuinfinity. everyone, its gonna be different this year, i promise. but you are all here to stay.
3:33 AM
I lovevintage & rouge-.
30
Friday, January 25, 2008
VIDEO OF THE CENTURY
the only song that makes me cry when i listen to it
the only song that makes me think of you when it comes to my head
the only song that makes me feel so sad whenever i have it
the only song that perks me up when the songs on the radio gets mundane
I know a place that we can go to A place where no one knows you They won’t know who we are I know a place that we can run to And do those things we want to They won’t know who we are Let me take you there I wanna take you there I know a place that we’ve forgotten Get caught in, they won’t know who we are I know a place where we can hide out And turn our hearts inside out They won’t know who we are Let me take you there I wanna take you there Let me take you there Take you there Take you there
Baby, I miss you
6:10 AM
I lovevintage & rouge-.
30
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
my tummy churned when i typed in those words of the devil. and then, "search". I read, i couldnt stand it any longer. and here I am, complaining how ugly one can be after what one had done. Wasting time once again.
Dont ask me and dont assume like you know me. Even if all it takes for me is to make you feel negative, i made you feel.
8:24 AM
I lovevintage & rouge-.
30
Monday, January 21, 2008
My dad is the only one in the family who can gets things his way when it comes to me. The fear of him flaring up and starts yaking like a maniac is the worst memory I could have of him. He had the guts to drag you out of the house with your belongings letting you stay outside for the night or something, with some conscience, he'll probably throw you your favourite pillow. Doesnt that make you shiver when you are just 11 or 12 years old? He'll scream at you like you are nobody, yelling hurtful remarks. You might think he's mad or he's not a good father. But he makes you think again, why did my father, the man of the family who hasnt said anything or nag at you , suddenly evolves into that dinosaur attempting to gobble you up. That's cause you have done enough to push him to that extend. Its because he cares and he wants you to rest or study or not go out or not fall sick again. That's my father.
Last night, he came in with those bloodshot eyes, demanding me to go to bed. "Pa, if I go to bed now, I will fail know." "You think I care? Go to bed NOW!" He left the room, took two bottles of the SAME cough medicine. "I leave them here, I dont care what you want to do, you better finish them up" Blah, those were the worst cough medicine ever on earth and I would drinking them, thats why I ddraggedddd on and on not wanting to take my medicine, And yes, i had to drink it in front of him now. "What time are you going to bed?" I replied, "Soon." "WHAT IS SOON?" "1230, dad" Looking straight at him, showing that I realy am gonna sleep at 1230. And my dinosaur of the family left the room slamming the door, the accessories and belts hung on my door knocked against my door with a loud thud, fell to the floor. Picking them up, I cried, knowing he's concerned yet I hadnt done anything to let him not worry. Kids, such a pain in the ass. But I slept at 1255 because I was on the phone with baby, haha!
7:12 PM
I lovevintage & rouge-.
30
Friday, January 18, 2008
i've been refreshing and refreshing this page a million and one times and it still doesnt seem to show what i really want to see.
this urge to blog is really getting into me, because my team and i have completed FnE within 2 nights (i was sick on one of them) and it really thrills me when i think about the long hours we battled. whoohoo, i am legend. spell that out for me? nooo.
but thats not what i really want to talk about. i just cant seem to get that out of me. and i really dont know whats wrong about everything and everyone. i know its not about everyone else, its always about me like how i planned to start on my culi journal due on mon or that speciality coffee research for tmr and i spent the past few hours looking at entries of people who means nothing to me but still feel so absurd about life, you, you, school, work and everything else. this is one of the days i want to open the window and scream at that stranger at my block "YOU MOTHER F!@$%ING !@#$%^" for no reason and probably get a finger or a fight after that and feel the cowardity within me and feel back to normal again. i cant fight, for god's sake, i cant even squeeze your hand. but you know,i feel like i want it all, but the fact that i cant handle it all. yet knowing you have to take it all in because this is life. its hard, isnt it? the temptations, distractions and voyuerism in life (i seriously dont know why i typed that probably cause lisachua repeated that word one too many times during tutorial today, and i secretly sense that i might be sufffering from voyuerissmmmmmmmmmm.... not!) last few words, "gimme, gimme more"
what a wierd entry, you might ask. this is what happens when you havent slept since 7 am on thurs and took a nap on a stranger's shoulder then sock's shoulder only at 3pm on friday. how i wish it was some fella's broad, skinny but still so comfortable shoulders. YES, NCCL, ITS YOU!
whooo, while some couples out there prefer to let the whole world how their partner looks like, how many dimples they have, where and how their poor baby's suffering from that big zit or something, how much they love their bf (count it in like the number of "xXxzzzzz" appeared, the more BIG small bIg sMalL, the better it is). or others who count how many months/ weeks/ days/ hours/ seconds/ mili-seconds they've been together.
nah, its troublesome. (subjective word, huh, think positive la!) baby, one month down and the rest of our lifes to go. i love you and im really happy (:
6:54 AM
I lovevintage & rouge-.
30
Thursday, January 17, 2008
HELLLOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
that could be the most cheerful welcome note I have ever given this whole week/month/term/ year/ last 2 years... you get the drift (:
FESTIVAL GROUP PROJECT IS OVERRRR!!!! HOOORRRRAAYYYY!!! after slogging hard from 9pm all the way to 8 am without a wink or even like 10 seconds with my eyes closed. I MADE IT!! i thought it wouldnt be possible, but we all pulled through (: im so so so so so so glad my team and i went through this together!
and just when we were thinking of celebrating...
MON- Culinary Learning Journal - CRSpa Group Project
TUE- CRSpa Interview (some banana pushed it forward..)
i miss you all terribly. mon was culinary tue was home alone with drowsy cough syrup and worrying abt the loners gang in school. wed is home alone with martha stewart to keep the noise level up. and its the day i miss onelove lunch date :( and and and, its the day i realise CSIT deadline is postpone!!!
YESYES, POSTPONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE to FRIDDAAYYY!!!! please remind me how happy i am right now.
8:40 PM
I lovevintage & rouge-.
30
Monday, January 14, 2008
im on the verge of tears! mummy came to ask how's my results and when are my exams! REJOICEEE!!! like finally, she bothered to ask me. but i knw she's worried abt my endlesss activitites and studies and health and cherliang and her baos and the sticky floor and the bag of rubbish in my room and what time is class tmr!
mummy, thank you. you just put a stop to procrastination and move on to gear 10! (:
7:52 AM
I lovevintage & rouge-.
30
cough cough cough thats all you hear from me all day i sound like a spoilt radio trying to hit full blast im sorry to everyone trying to interpret what im trying to say. even chef "huh" me today. thats sad.
last day at pastry, no more melting, glazing, decorating, coating, chiller, fruits, pastry cream, scoldings, diao-ings, rantings. honestly, chef fang is one of the most fun chef to work with, you can laugh laugh at all the comments he make and the random qns he'll ask you. "So Kimberly, you like Chinese New Year anot?" aint he cute? yes, he asked if TTT was fun, i said it was, then he say, "so you say pastry not fun la!" hahaha, thats the nicer side only. and i shall end here.
pastry is just not my thing, if you ask me to plate like a main course, i'll do it with my heart and soul. but in pastry, i just somehow cannot seeem to find that drive. my pastries end up looking not up to standard. maybe, just maybe, i was made for the pots and pans, just.. dont let me burn down TCA huh. finally, game plan up. kudos to team leader CHUA WEIJIE for completing game plan, AGAIN (:
cough cough cough, tmr is MC day. i cannot stop.
i think i might die from dead brain cells cause of the endless smses i receieve when im asleep and my handphone under my pillow people! radiation kills, stop sms-ing me in the middle of the night. you ought to be sleeping!
and TFD was talking about some Naitonal Nude Day at New York's subway where people acted like normal passengers wearing just their undies/ half naked. COOL STUFF. let me check out that arsee please, tanned? toned? okkay, bring home! -.- i think its the cough syrup, im getting drowsy.
so, as everyone else is mugging for CSIT/ TTB/ doing FEST/ CSIT/ CRS.. i am here blogging so, i think i should rest my heavy head and let the syrup work its magic. the epitome of rest, tell me about it.
7:17 AM
I lovevintage & rouge-.
30
Thursday, January 10, 2008
ROAR! are you happy now? HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAA. Taken from Sock's blog: "TO Kim: We have done a survey and 90% of the people blogs about unhappy stuff, you are not alone!"
funny right? thats why thats why they are called one love. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 met up on wednesdaysss as usual! And today, pohsuan and I had some feet disaster again. I poured a large refillable Ice Tea from Carl's Junior on her leg, AGIAN! and that was supposed to be a gdbye hug and that was supposed to be kenny's dinner drink but we finished the nice one he prepared.. and that was the fun-est thing ever! (other than secretly taking photos of perrrrrsuan when she's snoring away, HAH!)
i feel i feel, i feel the bond nowadays. with ken the guy living many lifes, changing from a matt to a ahbeng when talking to me and meng. hmmm, im so not a meeeeeeee--.
wellwell, first day of TPOH. disappointing crowd mannn, where have all the secondary school kids gone to? first 3 weeks (instead of 3 months?)... arrrrrr, looooossssssseeeeerrrrrr. dont waste it, come poly, then use those 3 months to WORK. earn money and buy pretty clothes (then) for poly (: HAHA, RANDOM. but it might not mean im damnnnn happy noww (:
but still, a smile is better than a frown. things will get better, dont think you guys know what im refering to. NO. dont try to read me hor. HAHA! so so so many things, but like what xiaocai says, confident front, and you will eventually be convinced by that front (: I will.
9:58 AM
I lovevintage & rouge-.
30
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
i get so stressed up at night, i clenched my fists to sleep. waking up with cramped up wrists, like my cramped up brain. thinking about how things have changed, perceptions. its not i dont care, really.
Dear God, guide me away from the ugly things I see, save me.
8:25 AM
I lovevintage & rouge-.
30
Friday, January 04, 2008
i know im not supposed to feel this way, but i am. feel like giving up everything i have built up. well, there aint alot to lose. so, whose loss is it anyway?
give up.
im so happy now, im atstarbucks chilling with my favourite girls, i mean, 2 men and 1 girl i love onelove!
"When it comes to embracing true beauty, few encompass all that it means to shine from the inside"
