cause eye candy just called and made my day lar.
cause i have decided not to think about it anymore lar.
okay, that was damn AL lar.

well, im glad i survived YAC, Youth Avenue Camp, held over the weekends at Republic Polytechnic.
whoohoo, i finally saw who Felicia was, lmao.
RP is like freaking big, the school is nice, the whole place is airconditioned la -.-
the objective of the camp was rather meaningful,
but seriously, the programmers prob need some help from out PROG?
and their facilitators need some solid GLs from FO?
i think they do.
thank goodness Glenn didnt go, else he'll get all agitated, even shazni cant hold him back.
wahahahahahhaa!
well, i had fun, meeting all the new people from different jcs, ites and facilitators.
whack nehs, hello friends, waking kim up at 4am, funny teammates,
all the funny/ fun memories from camp (:
together with my 'bodyguards', lovely shazni and derek who were in my team.
thank you guys who were constantly looking out for me, were there to talk cock sing song with, there to laugh and have fun with; you two, i love always (:
and TP, TP, will always be the best! :D

next, had GL Refresh today, alp was shifted to indoor activities cause it was raining cats and dogs -.- im so angmoh-ish today ah.
was glad to see jason again (: bird! even though we din stop to talk, but im glad to see you around :D
lalala, im glad Zilra will support me through thick and thin
cause HGL isnt a really easy position to be in, all the sacrifices we have to make, i have already made some ):
the stress and pressure the main comm add on us.
i really hope i can take it, but i know i can take it.
just, dont let what others say diminish my confidence level, but i think i already let them do that.
well, overall, Zilra was great at cheer making (:
but still, i had a bad day.
love Zilra people for the lovely dinner :D


---------------------------------------------------

WARNING: EMO SESSION BEGINS, DO NOT READ ON IF YOU ARE SAD ENOUGH

well yes. i guess from the black face, the non-hyperness and the ignores they get, the people might more or less have figured out that i wasnt in my best mood.
it was about some things that happened monthss ago, that is still happening today, and on that fateful day, the monster in me finally broke loose and ...

sigh, i really dont know how to tackle the problems, yet i know i have to ):
its really dissapointing to know that someone you once loved so much, has drifted away and saying those things to you.
its really dissapointing how some people can say things without realising that they've hurt others
its really dissapointing how they can tell the world they'll change but they never did
its really dissapointing to hear those words coming out from yr mouth, because you have never dont that before.
i know i might sound like a sadistic, xiao xing yan, sensitive, pessimistic fellow, but i really cant stand it any longer.
there are so much more dissapointments ive seen, heard, felt and touched, and i really dont want to dissapoint myself anymore.

i think all i need is for you to understand that i really treasured the friendship and trust we had and abandoning the trust we had since day 1 was really hurtful for me to accept.
in addition, the words that i heard, the tone that you gave, the comments that you gave all these while, the love that i'll miss, the look in yr eyes.
im really sad that we have become what we are now, and i have to avoid yr 'comforts' not knowing you were the cause of it, that i have to look away and try to look happy, that i have somehow lost you?
im sad to hear hurtful words, im sad to see fearsome stares, im sad to see
all i know is, you wont be there to help me take my waterbottle, if i forgets again ):

you dont know me, you dont even care, oh yeah

i think its either ignorance or insensitivity, the words spilling out didnt sound very nice, even though it might have seem to be.
im glad im not alone, in this fight for survival.
i dont know what more to say la, but stop this torture cause its killing blahus.
then some stare with disrespect, some talk with arogance
seriously, i dont feel good. i dont think the others felt good.

i look at them with green eyes; and i come here to talk, hope you will understand

i got biten, i got whacked, but i not going down.

because i need their support as much as i need theirs.

i know i'll be fine after a few days, i just have to act like nothing is really happening. this is me.

i dont even know why im talking about such sensitive issues on my blog.

mayb because i need to break free for a moment, or highlight the issues.

but one thing for sure is, i cant hide this disapproval anymore.

mayb i should talk about it, but talking about it once again wont solve the problem at all.

its okay, i tell myself, if you are not running for elections, it will be over after FO.

its okay cause you'll be gone, and it'll be okay cause i will wrk my way to earn my respect.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5. oh my god.