im real.

2008-06-10T23:44:00.001-07:00

okay, Liar.
I cannot part with my blogger, so i am stillgonna use it till it expires.
post post post!!

2008-06-10T10:23:00.000-07:00

Hello creatures of the Earth or whoever that is reading,

I think I am officially going to change to Livejournal. I know the controversy of fake people using lj and what not, I guess its just letting things out.
And that would be the best choice for first choice.
Haha :)

till then,
see you at kimboolay.livejournal.com!
even though it needs a lot of renovation!

2008-06-09T10:13:00.000-07:00

so yes, i got into OSIP.
no more 800 per month pay, lets settle for a 200 USD with plenty of sunshine and alot of expenses awaiting me okay?
its gonna be a good experience.
if all else fails, it would be happy rooms division for the love of lodging,
or stuck in a restaurant in town surrounded by an array of designer shops.
or tucked away at the gardens?
i have no idea just yet.

haha, lets see if FS wants me to be part of their 'people'

till then, i shall bury myself in zomggg menu and bevergaes and the compiling because i called off the meeting.

To you,
I just want you to know that I will always be here for you if you ever need me.
And it is really sad to see a lady react the way she did, despite only talking to me on two or three occasions.
She is really really sad and I really hope you will be there for her.
I know it may not be really easy for you to take the first step, but I will be there to help you along the way.
Because nothing beats seeing you and her with a big genuine smile plastered on your face.
Lets take the first step for the dinner date on friday alright?
Text me if its alright.
When it gets dark and cold at night, just remember that I am here and I love you!

I have an eraser in my head

2008-06-06T09:54:00.000-07:00

Hello,

I'm watching this really sad Korean drama about this couple, but the girl has Alzheimer's disease only at the ageof 27, some rare genetic disease.
Its the second time I am watching this and I am crying like mad.
Like maddd...
goodness, the male lead is zamn handsome la.
Okay, lets go buy the dvd right away!
"Shen Qing Shi Hai"

I repeat, the male lead is damnnnn hot.

Today is TPSU's internal voting.
I hope everyone will have fun in their different positions and continue to work together as a team. Because this will be another exciting and challenging journey!
And everyone to do what is within their position and give more than what is required for their position. This will make this place a even better place for everyone.
I hope I'm not a doing or saying too much :)
TPSU Executive Committee 08/09, go all the way!

Thought really harda bout the offer, what will happen if I did.
But I hope it would be better if I did.

she said, " I have an eraser in my head"
I wish I had one too.

SELLING VINTAGE BAG @ $20!!!

PLEASE CONTACT ME AT BANANAFLEAS@GMAIL.COM FOR DETAILS!!!

courtesy to the fab ladies at thehappynest!

normal mail: + $2.50 only :)

2008-06-04T09:40:00.000-07:00

hello,

to all who cared, thank you.
things are much better, both issues are more or less cleared up.
what can be done is done, what cant be done, will be probably ignored to stop all these dark clouds from gathering.
but i still cannot help but be so fantabulously upset about things.
but since the damage is done and change took place, there's nothing we can do about it.
stick with it.

to think that i would scroll down to click first, instead of the many ones i could click.
to think that i could trust you with all my heart, instead of the many others.
to think that i got angry with nic for saying such things about, instead of agreeing.
which i would probably agree to right now...

let it be.

2008-06-03T11:33:00.000-07:00

Hello,

To Eat List

Crab Bee Hoon at AMK (Note to self and other half: Mummy say its our turn to queue now!)
Aston's Expree at Serangoon
Waraku at Central (Not on a horrible friday night like how loners nearly died)
Honjin Buffet
Manhattan's Fish Market
Carnivore Brazillian whatever at Vivo
Ayam Penyet at Lucky Plaza
Katong Laksa at Roxy Square
Din Tai Fung for the nibbling Xiao Long Bao
Tim Sum Buffet at Harbourfront Centre
Tim Sum at Redstar
Sapinos Pizza at my doorstep (because no BEEF in the house!)
Millions of Fried Mushroom at Century Square

I guess that's all!

2008-06-03T09:02:00.000-07:00

Please dont tell me how STUPID i am.
I freaking hell scheduled for work on the 8th June 2007.
THE 8TH OF JUNE 2007!!!!!
OMGOGMGOMGOGMOGMGOGMGOMG

ITS FREAKKINNGGG THE BIG GROOVE!!!
(if you dont know what TBG is, go google or youtube and type The Big Groove and you'll hear groovy music with people grooving to it.. you really are missing out..)

WHAT AM I MISSING OUT?
TBG!
ONCE

IN

A

YEAR

WHERE

YOU

GET

TO

SEE

RYAN/ GIN/ WHOEVER

ELSE

AT

O SCHOOL

PERFORM!!!

AND ITS THE BIG DATE WITH KAHYUEN AND GANG!!!!

KILL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i really wanna scold the f word even though its already in my mind. hmmm...
and and the worst thing i dont even know if there will be full attendance for Ky's side.
Kick me, slap me, kill me.
Why does eveything else goes wrong when everything is going wrong?
FFFFFFART.

oh yes, recalled the interior motive of this entry.
im still upset. and pissed. and unhappy. and absolutely feeling betrayed.
the past is all but lies. HAHA.

its june, i should be happy.

When I find myself in times of trouble,
Mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

2008-06-02T23:32:00.000-07:00

it wasnt only yesterday that I found out Mary-Kate & Ashley smokes.
I know i know, probably the whole wide world knows about it
But dont blame me for not finding it out and spoiling their perfect little millionaire girls image in my head.
God, and NCCL said that they BOTH are bulimic as well.
Like BOTH, I thought it was always MK only?

oh well, they are still such wonderful eyecandies to look at.
I wonder if they'll send me their used clothes if I dropped them a threat letter.

HAHA.
not at all.

2008-06-02T10:57:00.000-07:00

as far as I don't wish for this to carry on, I dont want this to end.

2008-06-01T06:36:00.000-07:00

Ohhh well,

all thanks to the akipapipu form Grapevine who messed up my schedule.
There is no work today, so I officially (not quite so..) start next week I suppose.
I thought I MIA big time, but man, wait till you meet this guy.
He doesnt reply his msgs and all you know!

OSIP interview went well, my mind was in a blank when I answered the first question.
And things went okay after that.. after listening to those carefully structured answers from the other interviewees, like OHWELL, BUCK UP ALREADY!
things went well I guess, look forward to the management's call or its hello Singapore.

Elections results are out, all went well I guess.
For those who got in, congrats and do a good job.
For those who havent, its okay, I beleive you can serve the school and union in another way.
The other Ps and VPs for the constituent clubs are pretty zai too, im glad im very glad :)
Go TP! Here's to another great year of leadership, fun-filled events, tears, blood, sweat and laughter! I love TP :D

I've been hearing alot about things, and I dont know how and why I dont have the exact things to say as well.
It seems as if everyone has everyone else, but I stand here alone.
After 4 years, I still feel alone.
After 3 more years, I still feel alone.
Maybe its just fate or anything, I dont seem to be in luck.
Envious.
Could be the narciscism?
I dont know.
But I would tell you a million sorrys if anything I did displeased you.
I feel alone.

OMG, CRAVING FOR A BAKING SESSIION NOW!!

2008-05-29T04:13:00.000-07:00

Hello,

I am back from an exciting non-school day at school :)
First, I overslept and let my groupmates waiting for me for 40 minutes, I am terribly sorry.
Also very sorry I have no money to take cab :( so miserable.

And during meeting, we couldnt think of any innovative marketing strategies so we went for or-te at design and met yanlin, nette, sam, pat and some DB guys.
lulilu, there's a jogging date tmr!

So after lunch, we went to vote for the people who shamelessly palce their face all around school, YES, I am shameless too. The even shameless one declares that ppl will vote for her cause she is the pretty one. dunno who la, HOR? JIA***!!

and I was practically cornered at every step i took at cyber centre.
First it was benben and his partner, uncle pang hock, uncle sam, paul, cleaning aunty, glenn than kyle.
All asked me the question of why I did not run, and it really made me ask myself this question why did I not run. Tsk tsk tsk. but oh well, the decision of running for only one yr was made last year. so should stopthinking. even if this yr's batch is so fun to work with, argh. too late..

HAHAHA. i miss cleaning aunty alot alot alot, she misses me too.
and she kept on saying 'chantek ah', thanks thanks, i know, only you say that to me aunty :D

okay, i should start on article, omg.

2008-05-28T09:57:00.000-07:00

Today today today is a wednesday, another DPD day!
Like you probably have expected, DPD with Thiru is another funny day,
technical failure day, thiru speaking as a thrid person...
But no, today was a DPossibleDay!
I finally completed my DPD Presentation after 5 weeks of procrastination from the IT people.
IT really suck at bus school.

Today is another calculus day, probably my favourite subject this semseter.
I love calculus, i can finish it in lightning speed leh, all thanks to Mrs Kumar
who trained F9 students to A1 student A and F maths :D
And today, I was making some observations on my classmates trying to differentiate..
and even MR Charles Loh, the tutor who seems to like me alot.
So this is what I wrote on a random piece of paper:
"Hello, Im quite bored.
So I have been observing Mr CHarles and you cannot imagine the numer of analusis I've concluded. He'll touch his fringe with his right hand when he is not doing anything. He has this rattlesnake looking belt *inserts rattlesnake image*, his hiar looks really like a mushroom and I love mushrooms so Im actually craving for Century Square's Fried Mushroom (inserts Yingxiu's approving nod)! He is probably not a very good mathematician because he needs to point at the numbers to work out the equation. &lastly, I secretly think he's ***. Pass down la"

HAHA, my whole row kept laughin I dunno why leh.
& to prove that the last sentence is not true, there was xiao qiang.
this big brown and juicy cockroach who came to visit 3H10 at calculus class today.
& I thought Mr Loh would jump and scream but nahhh, he was so brave, looking for things to 'smack' the cockroach. So he is not la!
And and, the group of us were asking MR KENNETH PANG to help us catch but he merely replied "huh, got meh? dont have la" and proceeded to talk to his fren at the door.
LOSER LEH KENNETH!!
in the end, ms hero kahmariah had to capture mr juicy brown thing for us, thanks :D

Last but not least, today is Mr Tan Puay Boon's birthday.
Nothing facny to fantacise him, but oh well, full dress rehearsal to salute the new 20 year old in the block.
Cool reaction from him today, when we all asked why he so dao. HAHA.
Happy Birday boonie, you have been a great friend since year one,
minus all the blueblacks you've caused and have stopped causing.
but you know its oaky because its how you show ppl that you love them and i understand one.
and thank you for being there to correct me when imwrong.
dont stress oaky,anything talk to us. breath and relax.
omg, im talking like chef fum and this is going nowhere.
hpapy britdhay aigan :)

*points up, you know a normal human being can interprete this as long as the first and alst letter are in place. i bet ahboon cannot lor.
HAHAHAHAHAHA :D LOVE YOU LA, because we are one love!

2008-05-26T08:11:00.000-07:00

Hellooo :)

I have been pretty good lately, staying home on the weekends to pay my dues.. to the textbook that is.
Life is tough being a student, but nothing beats tough like 2.2, shunders at the thought of it.
Sunday was jam packed action with my coloured pens and recycled paper storing fnb notes into my head.
Starbucks with baby and met kahyuen, belle and liyi at compass for some walk around.
Had my usual craving for Eu Yan Sang Herbal Egg and I completed 4 lectures that day, SLOW.

Today was fnb test, home-d..
There's still so many on the list, interview, presentation, test, assignment due.
SIGH, can time stop?

I know this is a really boooorrrriiiiiinngg entry but i am going to miss this kinda entry in erm.. less than 3 months?
So read while you still can :)

Oh yes oh yes, before I leave, here's to the birth of my new N6500 classic phone!
Wanted to get the music one or 6500 slim, but nah, no offer and there's some great deals at Singtel.
I got mine with baby's $50 voucher and Early Upgrade coupon!
Yeahness :D
its kinda fat, with some zitt zitt effect like its having an electric shock, but its sleeq and black and nice and i love it!
Probably going back to ask what's wrong with blackie (thats her name) and prob get it fixed!

Till then, vote for those people you think are worth being in that position!
Happy Birthday in Advance Best Buddy Forever Glenn Michael Sandhu!
I love you!

but I love baby more! :D

2008-05-24T06:38:00.000-07:00

This is like the 3rd entry for the day, explains so much about my lonely saturday.
Facing the computer copying information from the net and calling them your research.
This is the way institutions teaches us now.
Ubber-boring.

And on the angry note,
you knew your mistake and thats all that matters now.

on a happier note,
mark just introduced me to this girl on youtube, hot and she can sing!
this cover sucked but try the others yeah?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntk6-z7BOiM&feature=related
also, mayfen showed me this hilarious video, haha, enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIW8WfqoJUA

i want food :(

2008-05-24T01:14:00.000-07:00

Kim wants..

1) A dustbin with covers to place in her room so she can stop throwing out plastic bags that are not yet full, shouts NON-BIODEGRADABLE

2) Waraku one again

3) Starfucks Green Tea Latte

4) Food for Thought Red Velvet Cake!

5) $$$ for GSS and BakingDay/ Week/ Month

6) That friday meeting with OL, because she simply misses them. (*queues the tear at the corner of the eye to stop moving)

7) That lunch with Jacq and Maybelle after procrastinating for 3 yrs...

8) Meet darylyn only, without any !#$, after hmmm,7 years of friendship :(

9) A freakking cupboard

10) All expenses paid trip to BKK for pure goodness shopping with baby!

11) Stop time so deadlines would come only when I want to..

HELLYEAH :)

2008-05-24T01:05:00.000-07:00

okay, so i am supposed to be stuck at home doing work whilst nic is at his P Group party with the gang.
Roar, weekends are oh-so-boring nowadays :(

there's plenty to complete

1) Research for DPD, F&B, MICE, Lodging
2) Article Review
3) Revamp my presentation
4) Check out guest lecture
5) Calculus h/w, done actually... (i seriously shld have taken A&f)
6) STUDY FOR OPS AND MICE TEST!!!

zomg, we're gonna nail this.

last sem, lets go!

Was thinking I'll end off there but wait..
I've burnt way too many bridges before I've built other stronger ones.
Hold on a minute, why would you even want to burnt those bridges because you'll get a chance to walk through them next time?
I dont know, I dont know alot, all the time, signature sentence, because I simply dont know.
It really hurts to think back at the mistakes I've said, done or made
That is, to burn the many bridges I couldnt event keep track
Right now, I felt that I've built one or two, rebuilding that trust and happiness we once had.
Its tough but I really hate myself for the number of bridges I've burnt my entire life.
I hate myself so much it hurts to look at my past.

Cheryl Jiang, the one who's with me since Sec1 to Sec4,
but we dont contact each other now because she's at JC and we dont communicate other than in class.
I really do miss her,
like how I'll let her know my darkest secrets during chin class, the only time i sat with her
like how I'll sms her to wish her all the best and to study hard
like how she'll religiously give me a present for my bday, because she's 2 days olders.
like how she always joke that shes my jiejie and she must take care of me
like how she'll say how fortunate i am to be able to run so fast, because of her health reasons, she cant.
like how she made me study so hard for Chin Olvls (because I hate it) and to attempt to achieve for an A, but I only made it for a B3.
I cried because I know I could do well, but she told me she knew I did my best.
When I threw my wallet on the floor upon hearing I got 35 points for Prelims 1,
I broke my mirror that I had with me since I was... 1?
She told me its okay and to give my best in the next prelim and offered to buy my back a mirror and to pray that nothing bad would happen to me
When I took back my results for the second prelim, I got 25 points.
I cried on my way to the toilet again, when I was back in class, she whispered:" I know you did yr best, still got time for Os, look! at least you improved 10 points right? "
When we got our results for Os, we cried together. Prob cause of the good grades, prob because its the last day of school togehter and the last time she'll be taking her report book/ results, taking a paper, oral test, wishing each other good luck, before me, with me.

She sat in front of me for 2 years, small test, main examninations, oral, take register, take report book la, whatever shit la, she was always there.
The girl whom you will never notice when you walk into class, quiet, reserved and smart.
I love my friend so much, I miss her all the time.

Like her, I regret not keeping in contact with many others
Even those in TP, whom I see everyday, I really miss SJC alot.
Everyday with those girls screaming and having fun and bonding.
Just a 'hi' or 'bye' will not go pass as something we've once had.
Please,lets meetup.

2008-05-22T08:54:00.000-07:00

Hello World.

I really must say that detest those idiots who sit on the outer seats on the bus
Like hello, we know you want to seat, but so do others okay.
Sit inside and not trouble the others to slide in la.

Oh well, today was the last of Graduation Ceremony.
Too bad we couldnt help out for design shows :(
anyway, I must really say how adorable my partner is.
He'll really dance in the midddle of the ceremony,
some waltz thing and a shake booty kinda dance
he is weeeeeeeerrrrrrriiiiddddddddddddd
but still, thank you so much for being such a great partner! :D

chicpeapotpiehatchalittlecock.
whats that. who knows.
i love baby, he's the man.
thrusts boobs into his face and hugs tight.

2008-05-21T08:14:00.000-07:00

Oh dear,
I have this sudden urge to change to LJ,
I know, I am probably the only living soul who is still supporting blogger.
oh yes, please check out DTservices.blogspot.com!
correct sock?
haha!

Anyway, ysterday was a hell of a day, so many activites packed into one
I finally brought lappy to school and man, it was such a big distraction
the 2 hr break was not put to good use because XX, YX and I were bitching
I couldnt think of another time we all 3 have raised our voices that loud shreeking at
the disgusting and bitchy things we read or saw, HAH!
And more online shopping, hoots!
I thought I could really buy some since I was working for Mahbubahni that night

But man was I wrong...
I freakkin hell forgot to take my laptop and I onloy realised it when we reached sock's hse.
Poor sock offered to follow the pacnicky me all the way back to Roseburn Rd from Poh Huat Rd.
thank you sock, but the limousine services aka ex-policeman uncle was damn nice
:D
so was the bill...
it was only 7 bucks odd at her hse and when i reached home after 3 trips,
it hit 30 bucks.
awwognmsbeofjngghnf!#dna@!!#
ARGH :(

oh well, this is revenge for a overly paid job.

today was baby's graduation ceremony,
we cabbed to school together and haha, was late
Jia Juin and I were freeekkkin pissed at the woman who keeps on stealing our job.
asdfgjherfigbjvc, banana.
He attempted to strangle her in view of the entire BUS faculty,
good job ah boy.
He placed his hands in his pocket when he saw Mr Tai,
double good job boy
He slouched and everyhthing in front of the entire class of 2008 and parents,
triple good job ah boy.
HAHA! but it was fun, good job partner!

argh, was a tat bit (NOT!) frustrated and annoyed by someone today.
but shall not dwell about it, because... ah, no point la.
:) slight improvements baby!

all in all, i hate to see the htm seniors go.
they are such a united and cheerful bunch
they are what htm students really mean
someone you can hold a conversation with for more than 10 mins
someone you can say hi without giving you the fcuked up look along the streets
someone you can count on to do stunts at the very formal graduation ceremony.
wouldn't it be great if ours were half as untied as them?

sigh, this leads me to another matter so important i feel the need to post about.
i cannot stand this competitveness thing going on,
like hello, we may be resting but we are not deaf
esspecially me even if my head hurts like mad.
since this is what you want, alright then, PREPAREFORWAR!!
HAHAHAH, i can totally imagine the girls laughing now
if you are not, you are totally losing out.. yes, yingxiu,talking abt you...

HAHA:D
last semester, all i pray for is good grades, good friends, good time

2008-05-19T23:51:00.000-07:00

I am currently having a very bad craving for green tea latte.
& I would really love to have an affair with a well-equipped kitchen like TCA
omgomgogmgomgomgomg, food porn is so good!

Ah, this guy is yaking on about MICE lecture and i freakking have no idea what on earth he is talking about.
and no lecture notes, tried using the ole-bb,
googjob, not concentrating at all!
:D

ohwell, people, I AM CURRENTLY STARTING A "HELP KIM START BAKING" FUND!
if you feel nice today, please get me anything that you know a baker would need!
because this poor girl doesnt even have an oven in her freakin kitchen, (spoil ma)
and i guess i only have salt, baking poweder (sis bought it), vanilla essence.
I guess thats all,
hmmm, monetary donations are pretty good too, only its prob a lil risky
it might end up soemwhere besides the cashier at Phoon Huat!
dying for some Baileys Mint Choco Cookies or Red Velvet Cupcakes?
PLEASE START DONATING NOW!!

pleasedo:)

2008-05-19T00:24:00.000-07:00

:(

jiamin, xx, yingxiu, seowhui, steph and khairah.
I will give in my all for projects this semester because I know its the last sem.
Lets all work hard towards better gpa okay?
whatever competitive and all going on, dont care.
we whack As and Zs only.
I will learn to be a better team player even if it takes away a piece of my flesh.
I dont want to regret no more.
Because I want my last project group to be a blast.
We are gonna be dabomb.

2008-05-18T22:03:00.001-07:00

There are many perceptions lingering around a certain issues
and this happened to be the difference between both perceptions
Anyone is entitled to their own opinions
But I guess thats when fights and wars breaks out
People disagree, they fight, tanks, rifles, cannons, bomb, bang, they die, everybody die.

Haha Justin, thanks alot for the tank- soldiers thing.
Haha Fazly, thank you for being there to tell me its Happy Vesak Day
Haha Choi, thank you for telling me its okay.

Haha, its the 19th, I should be smiling.

2008-05-18T09:58:00.000-07:00

Today, I woke up late for the first time in 3 months.
Probably the best thing ever this entire week
And I waited for the bf to call since he went home late last night,
without giving me sms telling me he's home. hmmm.
& I found out he woke up way way before I did, haha.
Like huh, dont care ah, nvm.

So he made his way down to my house,
And I saw this big grey bag, in it was a big brown box with a big red ribbon tied neatly on top
whoohooo, i love it baby.
thank you :)
Happy Anniversary!

Tonight was teochew porridge and grapevine to visit sock!
Hmm, the WANTED, PARTTIME WAITRESS sign was pretty tempting.

You know how you've typed a wrong letter and you would click the delete button?
Sometimes I wish I could do that too,
But somehow, you know it can only happen in the virtual world.
Still, I would really like to see what was in that deleted text msg and
Before that, I would really want to delete what I've typed
I just need some time alone

2008-05-17T11:11:00.000-07:00

So many things I want to say, but somehow, it stays inside.

Today was the last event of TPSU AY 2007/ 08,
TPSU Sub Comm Appreciation Dinner, I missed my subcomm appreciation last year.
And this year, Im glad I played a part to organise it.
It was definitely difficult trying to find someone to order the foood because John and I are so scared to do it, haha!
Anyway, I am really pleased with everyone who attended, thank you so much for lasting till the very end.
Like what John said, we (excos) wouldnt survive if it wasnt for every single one of you.
We understand if many could not attend due to some reasons, we understand if you cannot be there to help for every event, because I understand that you too would have other things to deal with.
But still, thank you to every 181 of our sub comms who helped us out in any way or other.
Even helping us to spread the passion, or to accompany me to the toilet, it counts alot.

Thank you Sub Comms!!

Today, it would probably mark the last day I can step into the lounge, the sub comm area, the exco room.
To access to the photocopy machine,
to write on the white board,
to ahem shirts of past FO,
to help K take her black files,
to watch edwin open his finance cupboard,
to step into the store that GLENN, CHRISS AND GIDEON helped clean up to let 4 ppl sleep in,
to touch my exco file and wonder why on earth is it thicker than anyone else's? i didnt do shit.
to access the computer looking through my files at my PRES folder.
to look at hot tennis people playing tennis through the tiny window at the room
to access the pantry to a spider web infested area and to enjoy a cup of cold water without disgusting taste of the watercooler, we have our own cooler
to sit at the table that resembles the letter"U", united, universal, union
to read newspaper at sub comm area
to shout and scream at everyone who walked past me,
to walk into the lounge and make a face when that smell and the sight of a messy lounge hits me
to see familiar faces that i can count on whenever i need a smile
to sit at the table looking at 30 odd faces staring at me, giving me their full attention to what i am about to say
to close the pool table, clean the pool board, push in the red chairs and be the last to leave the lounge
how long have i not done all these, i dont know,
but i knw i am going to miss every single moment in the lounge.

I couldnt control but cry when I was giving out the certs to our subcomms,
because this is the end.
This year, hasnt really been kind on me.
Or rather, I havent been kind on myself.
Right from the start, i knew it would be a challenge, coping with everything
and weeks after the commencement of the term of service,
reality hit me hard in the face.
I know what i threw myself into,
i tried to be strong and stay with my decision,
I stayed up all night coping with homework and union work,
I had sleepless nights thinking how to bring union to greater heights.
I guess, I tried.
But trying wasnt enough.

we have come along way.
For whatever I have done to the committee and union, I apopogise for all the wrong doings.
Even though I have my own reasons behind everything I do, I know its hard to get everyone's understanding or to think along my line.
On the bus back, I was constantly thinking about who or what casued this,
And I finally decided that it was time i stopped blaming the ants and hamsters and that it was me,
I guess I can only blame myself for whatever that happened.
I loved union with all my heart, I would give everything I have in change for a seat in the committee.
And so I did, and now I understand wht ahlam alwasy say by its not the same as when you are in here.
I was too strong headed for the comments given to me
I was to blame for the bridges I have burnt down myself
I was too tactless and insensitive for whatever I have done
I placed friendship before everything, therefore, whatever that happened in the meeting room, affected me too much, even if i lied myself to sleep that night.
Probably, this was the reason why I feel this way today.
My love killed the only love I had.
See, I can only blame one person and thats me
and I understand perfectly if you do.

I know I have disappointed many more people than I could have known,
And that 600 odd people who voted might be doubting their decision they made a year ago.
But I know, that I could have given so much more, this is not all that I can give.
If I could, I would give it my all.
But it was because I couldnt cross that barrier I installed within me,
the barrier that made me wary of everyone ard me because I've seen or heard too much.
the barrier that made me refuse to realise the fact that there is no friendship but only business in the room.
This is all but how I felt since the beginning, that Union should be a place where everyone comes together, a place of love, one big family.
I was too naive, and so, as the days go by, I begin to be numb to whatever that happened and did only work
Guess, thats why it was pretty emotionless already, which was leading to nothingness.

But at the end of the day, I left the room knowing that I have learnt many lessons in life.
It has indeed been a fulfilling and wonderful experience for me this AY
with the many capable and wonderful excos, who coped with working with a diff person likeme
with the numeroous subcomms who would give anything they could for union.
I know that no amount of tears can express the regrets I feel,
no amount of thank you can express the gratitude I feel,
no amount of words can express how I feel
But I know the one fact is that given a chance again, I would not make this mistake.
I would choose what my heart tells me, not the head.
Maybe what KS said in the sms I read was right, I was too hypocritical to go ahead with my decision despite knowing what would happen, i guess i shouldnt have?

Union is probably the place I lost my voice the most number of times
Union is probably the place people call me FAT the most number of times
Union is probably the place I played pool the most number of times
Union is probably the place I've seen that many people coming together to cry
Union is probably the place where I saw that many guys cry, haha, GLENN!
Union is probably the place I've learnt that many lessons of life
Union is probably the place I've met the people who'll stay with me for life
Union is probably the place that lifted those curtains that shield my eyes
Union is probably the place I've felt that mix of emotions, anticipation, love, sadness, accomplishment, achievement and belongingness
Union is probably the place I've made a name for myself (good and bad?)
Union is probably the place I made so many friends
Union is probably the place I will remeber for the rest of my life
Union is probably the place that I cried the most number of times
Union is probably the place I meet the best people in Temasek Polytechnic.

Many a times, things that happen in this place will affect me.
But like what she says, knowing that feeling emotional about things, meant that I still feel for the place.
I still do, but I know that if I was more professional with dealing with things, I would be a better president, a better committee member, a better person.
Like how upset I was when someone mentioned about my absence from Week0, but telling me how that person understands after reading the article and hearing of my win, Ireally had no choice because there was a swap just one week before the competition.
Like how upset when she told me abt her selective hearing, I know why i sneezed that many times everyday.
Like how upset after reading KS' msg.
Like how upset I was after everything..
I know its becasue all these were nothing but mere feelings.

Above and beyond, I am both relieved and glad to hear that someone whom i respect so much, commentins that it was a good start and end. even though i hadnt given the all i could, I know. but still, thank you.

Im not too sure if any of you reading this would feel angry or anything, but this is something i have kept in for a very long time. so thank you for understanding why i had to let it out. and im not sure if you've misunderstood me, i still love union very much, and i guess i've seen the ugly sides of things. but still, i really love the place alot. especially the people. they have led me to many wonderful beginnings and experiences, like zilra.

thank you glenn, sarah, yuting, maybelin, john, ger, von, hakim, farhan, tat, edwin, jingwen, kahyuen, luffy, weng, ron, shawn, gibson, farah, ella, em, clad, zain, eugene, jacq, dionne, amanda, ashley, amos, issac, dorothy, jessy, joan, benchow, alvin ting, clifton, sufong, ben cheng, xiu hui, elene, sunny, grace, denise, jacintha, sean, kc, brandon, honglin, jesselyn, neoneo, vivian, joker, gerald, hanlin, shep, not forgetting, derek, kay, shaz, fang and eric and everyone else.

last, i love everyone from TPSU and thank you TP for creating this wonderful palce called TPSU.
i love TPSU.

I have struggled long and hard enough to decide when and whether I should post something like this, I hope that whatever I've said would not stimulate any negative feedbacks. If I did, Im sorry. I really hope you'll understand that this would be the closing of my entire life in TPSU, and it is purely how I feel after these 2 years. Ilovetpsu.

2008-05-14T09:19:00.000-07:00

suppose this is what you get even if they agreed to another year of adventure?
To do nothing at all? where is the initiative?
Why should redundant (more or less?) people like us take the heat right now?
Whatever crap and all, I suppose they want it to die off now
& attmept to relight it when spring comes along?

Whatever it is, we are giving it all.
The last has come, we must face it, event if tears may flow,
Let it flow, because at the end, its these wonderful memories that counts the most.
Let not these memories you aren't fond of haunt you, let the day be the best day you've ever experienced.

I want to let Lai Kahyuen know that she will always be my best Patrick Partner (PP), K sisters, Giodarno freak, Zilra freshie, HTM freshie, 27 gangmate, sister on Earth.
And I never will want our friendship to end.

A dedication to One Love, yelling right into kenny's face, whacking Kri's elmo-looking nehneh, floping ah meng's lesser-flab tummy, pinching pohsuan's thunder-arms, slapping ah boon's slender moisturised/tone-d face and tickling sock all over the place, that I really miss all of you!

Also to Glenn Micheal Sandhu Son of Mr Calculate How Much Oil SIA Planes Will Need for A Journey Else They Will Fall From the Skies, that I miss him terribly and hope he is doing well at his last month at SAA. Also noting that the outing I owed him is reaching its one year's deal.. your birthday :)

Not forgetting, to the most important person ever, who have stood by me through thunderstorms and cyclones.
No matter what happens, baby, I want you by my side.
I love you Nicholas Chua Cher Liang :D

Last but not least, to Ms Chew Chian Lin, also known as my sister,
that I really miss having her around, I would trade anything besides food for her to be here with us on Mummy's birthday dinner, and that I hope she will take care of herself.
Sister, last month, enjoy your freedom before its gone, you know what I mean!

And, to Zilra, Fyrhto, Centis, Maybelle, Jacqueline (secrets better unfold hor), SU, Joan (my chem buddy, happy birthday!), anyone reading my blog secretly, Have a good day ahead of you!

2008-05-13T06:33:00.000-07:00

I guess sometimes, all we need is for others to be more sensitive.
I thought what we experienced last year would be a lesson for all of us.
It stopped my heart, watching those tears flow by.
I know that I could have done my part to help them stay where they were
But I guess, we have given too much to make it happen, and so it did.

This year, I thought things would be different,
With each other undersanding one another more.
But I guess some things are still left unchanged.
And I am disgusted and frustrated by how insensitive one can get.
Not that I want to loose it and show faces, sometimes its just too much.
Everyone needs to take more initiative, sometimes its just too tiring to make the first move all the time.
Sometimes one needs to rephrase your words more carefully, stop being so tactless.
It was what brought us that much trouble in the past.
I guess, you can say that a leopard never changes its spots ( or was that a cheetah?)
but still, when that many humans coming together and keeping mum,
something must be terribly wrong.

It might be my fault to contribute to the awkward silence,
but have one ever thought who or what dampened the spirits and demoralised everyone else's?
I saw how one was trying desperately to say something but held back, afraid that something nasty, a look or hurtful words that may seem causal to you, will be thrown her way.
Isn't it sad, isn't it sad?

Let's think about it.
Tomorrow will be a better day.

2008-05-12T10:15:00.001-07:00

i think today is the first time i painted my nails in record breaking time = 10 minutes only.
ugly nails.

2008-05-11T09:51:00.000-07:00

We were as one babe

For a moment in time

And it seemed everlasting

That you would always be mine

Now you want to be free

So I'm letting you fly

Cause I know in my heart babe

Our love will never die

No!

You'll always be a part of me

I'm a part of you indefinitely

Girl don't you know you can't escape me

Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

And we'll linger on

Time can't erase a feeling this strong

No way you're never gonna shake me

Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry no

And I won't beg you to stay

If you're determined to leave girl

I will not stand in your way

But inevitably you'll be back again

Cause ya know in your heart babe

Our love will never end no

You'll always be a part of me

I'm part of you indefinitely

Girl don't you know you can't escape me

Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

And we'll linger on

Time can't erase a feeling this strong

No way you're never gonna shake me

Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I know that you'll be back girl

When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhh

I know that, you'll be right back, babe

Ooooh! baby believe me it's only a matter of time

You'll always be apart of me

I'm part of you indefinitely

Girl don't you know you can't escape me

Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

And we'll linger on

Time can't erase a feeling this strong

No way you're never gonna shake me

Ooh darling cause you'll always be my my baby....

You'll always be apart of me (you will always be)

I'm part of you indefinitely

Girl don't you know you can't escape me

Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

And we'll linger on (we will linger on....)

Time can't erase a feeling this strong

No way you're never gonna shake me

Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

Always be my baby

2008-05-10T11:44:00.000-07:00

i found it.
time: 2.46 am
verdict: not worth it, and he still says that.
mood: really bad, i dont want to talk to anyone.

does looks really matter that much, i know there are many out there who are putted down too many a times in life, because of their looks. does it matter at all? yes, you'll get stares and glances if you walk down the street with this hotie you have beside you. but does it matter?
does it please you to see that these people you've made fun of suffer from all these emotional stress of being prettier, slimmer or darker? these scars you have left in them will stay with them forever. doesnt it hurt you to see no connection between a child and her mother? i am blessed to have a loving mother, she love everyinch of me because it is what she had beared. she will tell me how beautiful i am even if it is only in her eyes, but its okay, because i know i am in her eyes. she will tell me how i've inherited dad's big built and its not because im fat, it okay, because i know i can lift every weight i want to lift in the gym and pump anymore than anyone i want to. doesnt it pain you to see this not happening to anyone? gender makes no difference. does it excites you to watch one poking fun of people you have not met, only because she was part of his life? life is too short to make enemies, why bother giving the devil one more reason to bring you with him? there are far too many matters to think about and to talk about with the speed my mind wanders off to think about things that wouldnt improve my grades, but i know, i do know that it will change my mindset, it will change who i am and what i do, for the better, i hope.

why do people fight in wars, dont they know what these will lead to? those scenes of armless men, people fighting and firing at the boy's legs just to have his cattle, leaving him with no legs. where is the humanity you've been talking about? refuge camps all around the country, why havent you do anything to help them. love, sorrow, coming of age, pain. there's too much sorrow in the world, why did God leave them in such climate, such environment, such siutuation and have given us so much to live for, we've got electricity, water, food and money. why havent we given them as much as we've received. who needs lulu guiness cute bags, jimmy choo shoes and naf naf clothes? why do we need them at all? why isnt there equality in the country, where is democracy, give them what they need, shelter.

i think there's much to do. simple gestures like givng up your seat really counts alot in this really selfish, cruel and heartless world. you only remember to do good deeds when remined. you shun when people carrying "free hugs" signs come walking towards you. you dont take flyers distributed to you because they are annoying but not knowing that taking it will allow that aunty to leave for home sooner. you dont flush the toilet and even worse, using yr feet to press the flush like no one else will use it. you leave the trays from the cafe on the seats of the next table as if no one needs the seat. im no saint, but these are things i see within a day, enought to keep me awake thinking if i've done anything like that for my own convenience and to trouble someone esle. have you, today?

2008-05-10T09:57:00.000-07:00

"Sometimes I wish time would come to a standstill, so I can look around and fix things up before the motor starts running again, because it's hard to fix things when change is so constant. "

The best quote to sum up how I feel today, I feel like a rich taitai surrounded by great friends and a hot chef.
But the quote had to come from someone i-oh-so-despise.
screw you for reading the blog all day, serves you right you had gastric

alright, today was the day.
met up with matthew and legendary micheal han.
heard alot more about the upcoming restaurant, fiftythree (if im not wrong?)
i think its the best concept i've ever seen, not thati've seen alot
not gonna spill the beans, so, sit tight till prob july when the restaurant opens.
it'll definitely knock you off your seat.

we had lunch at the marmalade pantry, no pictures because er, its not nice taking photos with yr first met with your future boss - probably?
ah, when we heard about MH from matt a while ago,
you would have thought that he's big, fat, ugly and intimidating.
but no no, you are oh-so wrong.

waiting patiently, not, at the table of five for the big boss to come
matt went on to talk about his exciting adventures to the farm with MH the day before
pretty cool stuff you think.
then came this man, white ralph lauren polo tee, causual jeans (damn, didnt get to see what jeans), shoes.
holding a box, title reads "MacBook", the new laptop for matt at the rest.
the other, holding so effortlessly, where we found out that it was the Macbook air.
its so slim, god, even slimmer than a shave of truffle (NOT!)
he speaks, not audible, guess its somethnig you must do to be in this industry..

leaving TMP, we made our way back to Les Amis
awaiting the next heartstopping meeting with Randy, the man himself.
and micheal bends down in front of the Thai Ambassy,
not to tie his shoelace, not to pick up a coin he dropped.
he bent down to pluck off a leaf planted wildly outside the ambassy.
and then, he breaks it, placing it into his mouth.
he turns and looks at a awestruck krissy, "Pepperleaf, want to try?"
krissy reached out for it, entrusting her life on him and placed it in her mouth.
so did sock and i, matt looks at us and walks on as if it happens all the time, i guess it does with micheal?
"not bad", krissy told him and walks on.
HAHA. MICHEAL IS SO COOL!!!!
plus, i think he's pretty hot and smart and rich and creative and daring, an entrepreneur.

talk with randy was intimidating, but was a great experience.
as we went on, i realised why i was here.
because of the many talents dedicated to teaching and educating students like us.
He who does his work with passion, yearns to improve the industry, started by educating and teaching the young.
He discovers talents and help them to seek the answers to the questions they have doubted themselves with
HE brought us here, to what we have becomed.
old school will always be the best school.
Like what Randy said, "Mr Goh has given alot to this industry, (inserts names i cant rmb.. doing great things in this industry, wine writer, some in shanghai, hk, etc)
we call ourselves the Mr Goh's Boys, and it is wonderful what he is doing right now,
educating and grooming future talents at a young age.
You three girls are very lucky to have him as your tutor"
And I am proud to have been taught by him.

God, I dont know what is wrong with my body these days,
I will just fall into deep sleep whenever my body feels tired,
and it happens within minutes, I would feel like every movement people make around me is draining me away from reality.
I feel asleep for a full 2o mins not aware of my surundings, in zl's car.
this happened on bus 27 all the time,
one day, i might be kidnapped and raped and raped again if this continues.
So I went home, thinking i was going to take a nap beofre meeting KY for Zilra dinner.
But no, I slept all the way to ten. so here i am.
this happened ystd as well.
what is wrong with me?
I think I am terminally ill.
like would anyone care.

fucking hate myself for letting her interfere in my life,
i feel so fucking stupid.
alright, i know she's smarter, skinnier and probably prettier,
but i still so fucking hate it when i visit that place
to see how well she's doing without you,
but you know, we are not.
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,fuck
fuck.

2008-05-09T05:45:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Cher Liang for surprising me the other day at school.
Because this heartless bf have NEVER EVER fetched me from school,
well I mean, I know everyone makes a face at those bfs who comes all the way to fetch their gf and all,
but come on, we need to feel loved sometimes too okay.
Yes, he finally got the message.

But the only thing was the surprise.
We were supposed to meet at sk for quick dinner before i work on my OSIP report
and haha, when I boarded 23, I received this msg from him saying he was behind em but couldnt get on the bus.
It was damn hilarious.
Oh well, its the thought that counts.
Nownow, next stop, maybe a trip to the florist?

Oh, and congratulations to baby for passing IPPT :D
great job baby!

OSIP application has been sent in, no more regrets.
Altoether, 10 positions, more than 40 applicants now I guess?
Oh well, any way out I have a back up plan that might somehow become THE plan.
All lies in tmr, the meeting with the shareholder, the manager and the boss.
I am so excited.
I am certain the boss has great convincing skills, saving me from despair.
no more thnking tmr.
lets see what we can do with that.

2008-05-06T09:42:00.000-07:00

"THey have to work, they have to work for a living."
It's the msot imporatnt thing in the world.
You don't do your children any favours by letting them
have money without having to work for it.

- Nigella Lawson

Absolutely true, the father of my kids will have to agree with that
& I am certian he already have agreed to this.
No point feeding my son with clams and he dont even know it came from a shell.
No point feeding my daughter morrels and not knowing its a mushroom.
No point, no point.

2008-05-05T09:47:00.000-07:00

Okay, many would know that this blog is almost useless,
if you want to hear what really is bothering me, please just ask me
Just because of that, I think its time I record down how I feel and what has been creating an impact in my life,
So when I read back 5 years from now, I would still remember where I came from..

Oh well, cut the crap.

Today was the Celebration Dinner with the TCA faulty, TDT girls and 2 to Tango (only one)!
Had Japanese Buffet at Hanabi over at Katong Mall.
It was pretty funny that the host was unable to locate the restaurant when it was right before him.
Way to go Mr Tan, kidding (:
The food was alright, I guess the restaurant felt intimidated,
With that many fnb personnels and chefs, even CIA chefs dining at their private room
creating an enormous amount of noise pollution.
One clap to the girls for the thoughtful gifts while I selfishly watched Ironman with the man who is entering the NS.

We got Honey and a giant bow tie in GOLD for Mr Goh
We've got Mr Sim some Vitagen, only becuase he likes it and a bear sign
Mr Chia a pair of black socks and a smaller pair of pink socks
Ms Mark some special lacy stockings to shock the SSM kids
And Chef Joyce her favourite preserved tidbits and her Recycle bags!

The other chefs and instructors got very personalised cards as well,
Mr malik got his wooden van artiscally drawn by yours truly
Chef Fum had his envolope decorated with my fantastically drawn butterfly (in pink and purple)
Neo neo for having the most informal thank you msg I've ever written to an adult.
One Clap to TCA and her wonderful pool of experts!

The dinner ended in a high note, with the gifts all given and revealed to the gang
With many speeches that left us with tears welling up in our eyes.
Why like compo ah? I guess I'm getting prepared..

Chef Joyce came up with the golden question, where do you want to go for SIP?
And er... 2/3 of the table replied in a unison voice, MALDIVES!
All except for me, I thought long and hard, what was the reason that I wanted to stay in Spore?
Because I was afraid that I couldnt secure that job at LA in the near future,
because I didnt want to try out something else, I guess, 'boon's always feel comfortable in what they are doing.. OPPS.
Because I thought that I wouldnt last in hotels, and FO, without even giving it a shot.
Because I thought that leaving spore for that little pay was a waste of time, that I could earn 2 times more a month in spore.
Because I was convinced by the mother that staying in spore is good, probably because she couldnt afford sending me there.
Because there is a boyfriend serving the nation that I need to contact to each day
Because I was blinded by the fnb industry with all its fame and glory.

Like what chef joyce said, this 5 months is only the beginnning of our career in this industry,
how many people would die to be in our positions right now, (not many but a few...)
and we are all still young, this country is very small.
With its fnb industry, it is only growing, not moving at a fast pace, but it is growing...
What we have right now, LA as best rest, Iggy's as 77th best rest in the world, there are so much more in the world.
Eventually, one has to move out of this small country to seek new opportunities, like how Mr Chan travels the world just to help place his rest in a competitive edge, isnt it?
Living alone, without the comforts of home and the convenience of a lifetime maid (your MOTHER), is gonna be a challenge, a challenge to yourself and you only.
Ultimately, they would leave you to run your own family one day, and independence should be earned at any age.
If I dont leave the house now to try all these different jobs at different places, when will I do it?
After SIP? who would be so kind to offer you a chance like this?
In addition, what happened to all the childhood dreams of travelling to South Africa to volunteer and all those samaritan acts? Hello kimberly, who are you now?
Besides, this 5 months doesnt mean you are settled with whatever you've decided for 5 years.
If all else fails, I still can move back to my comfort zone.
Plus, this amount of experience will make me grow and learn more about this industry and myself.
Maybe the opportunity might slip by, but like what they say, one door closes on you, another opens.
I guess this is the time where I decide which door I would like to open.

Many a times, people are blinded by the offers placed before them, be it monetary or fame.
But what really matters is the experiences we learn along the way.
This FHA award really doesnt mean anything to anyone after it has passed by for a week, hasnt it?
Singapore expo was filled with excited people ystd, not for any fnb purposes but for the Metro sale, just the same as how our poise and flair will be forgotten within weeks, hours, even minutes.
How many people will actually remember what I did for Brandy Alexander? flair and all
How many would remember the milk bath?
How many would?
I guess, only the 6 of us and the whole TCA faculty.

That is the reason why we chose to stay humble about this win, because it was only something that we proved ourselves to be.
To be TCA standards and to show them what Old School ahve taught us.
This belief will stay with us for the longest of time.

As for SIP, I guess, this is the only chance that will be thrown my way
With the amount of experience thrown my way, I would be able to take the heat and literally, the heat from the island.
Hoping that I will not be very much affected by the culture and the standards of living,
I will be succesful with the application and come back stronger than ever.

I hope and pray that the decision is right, with them supporting me.
I'm sure it would.
-

Told mum about OSIP, not very positive feedbacks.
Her first question was about the money, its okay, sell your LV bag and get 100 bucks lor.
Oh, and with much research I found out my LV bag is 14 yrs old, mum bought it in 1994!!
anyway, yes.
Monetary terms we are talking about.
With sister abroad travelling to a million places over Europe, it has certainly burnt a hole in their pockets.
Plus, she had a schloarship to support her overseas exchange prog,
now, what about me?
I couldn't even afford a toothbrush with the amount of money in my bank.
Let alone travelling expenses, living expenses, allowance and everything.

Not happy about me in the fnb industry,
not happy with me trying osip in hotels.
what more does she want from me?
I really do know what lies ahead for me,
I really dont want to take over daddy (god father's) chain of restaurants not worth helping..
only because its not entirely his.
like what krissy says, if a michelin restaurant offers her a job halfway round the world, she would go for it.
that is the amount of confidence and trust i need to have in myself,
but i know its impossible for my family.
To think that when I brought the gold medal home, no one freakking cared..
My daddy even asked if its a bronze, instead of a gold.
My ah ma thought that I was lying to her.
Great forms of encouragement.
Because everything I commit myself to in school, besides studies is crap to them.
I should just quite school and become a freakking accountant and count money in front of them to make them happy la.

oh well, i choose my own path, hopefully without much hesitation, my decision will stop swaying and I will be where I want to be.

2008-05-04T09:43:00.000-07:00

Many people seek meaning in life with bombastic vocabulary,
but I choose to describe mine with simple words, happy.

2008-04-30T10:18:00.000-07:00

After a long time away from the comfort of my home,
the carefree days of TCA Vista is over.
(FYI, TCA Vista is the sofa area at Top Table, where we practically camped there for a month or so)
((Please take away the"there"because NCCL said there isnt a need for it))
During that one month or so, we treated TCA as our home.
reporting 8 in the morning and leaving the place at what, 6pm?
NCCL complained that he never saw how I looked in the day
Monster and Dinosaur said that they never saw me at all for a month,
except the times when they woke up to pee and saw me sleeping like a pig.
Oh well, those days are over.

Even though the training was simple, it was difficult maintaining or even to improve the standards when you are doing it over and over again,
we were on the verge of "over-training"
thank goodness for LA guys who came in, to give us some challenge,
to wow them with practice, which turned out to be our wake up call.
plus the (not-so) occasional visits from the TCA faculty,
which really helped lazy girls like us to be on the ball 24/7.
Three cheers to everyone.

But what's worth commending is the teamwork and teamspirit we've build.
I can say, nothing else can be comparable to the level of telepathy we have.
Like one look and we know what each other is heading for, or trying to hint.
Prep talks amongst one another helped each other to push on,
the girls are a combination of the most wonderful gems you can ever find on earth
and I thank the lecturers for realising them,
They've taught me valuable lessons I cannot believe myself bowing my head down to admit and to acknowledge to.
Many many, beyond explanation.
Thank you MCW, Sock San Hsien Wei, Sponge Bob and TheMan!

Also, the tCA faculty have been too kind to us throughout these few months
Mr Babysitter aka Mr Chia, thank you for spending precious time grooming us.
Mr Goh aka Daddy, thank you for EVERYTHING, and I mean everyyyyythingggggg!
Mr Sim aka Team Manager, I think you can work on the one clap thing, HAHA!! sorry abt yr wineglasses -.-
Chef Joyce, dajie, we love you and you know it!
Ms Mark, Niang niang, thanks for standing at fishbowl, reminding us to smile!
Mr Neo, for checking on us once in awhile
Mr Malic, logistics and transportation IC, HAHA! (and reminding me thatNCCL misses me -.-)
Chef Jasmine, critics from you are like golden words, we know (:
Chef Phua, nice aprons n the 200bucks catalogue!
Chef Desmond for TELLING US THERE ARE TWO DIFFERENT MUSHROOMS IN THE BRAISED JAPANESE CABBAGE!
Chef Jason, hello sam leong, chiao!
Chef Lilian for the canale and everything!
Chef Fum, omggg, I never thought I could hold that many conversations with you, you are damn cute (:
Chef Ken for telling us how well we are doing even if I am cleaning up the bar..
Chef Marc for your pointers and yr one million dollars worth.
Cynthia for your support and secretly cause you found my phone!
Mr Tan for your time and effort spent evaluating us and yr dinner on monday, haha!
And the rest of the HTMers and HTM faculty for coming down to support us!

This only Gold Award and Overall Best Dream Team award goes out to everyone who have been there for us, family, friends, lecturers, thank you (:

I MISS TCA :(

2008-04-09T05:37:00.000-07:00

hello to the world,
i am currently stuck at home, because my parents are against me gg back school for debrief and another night.
well, its daddy, so i cant oppose to him, he is the dinosaur.

i heard from everyone that Fyrhto is the first for FOW!
so happy okay! I cannot believe it!
I love my GLs so much, they've done so much for allof the freshies!
Guess, after all the lecturing and freshies leaving, things are much better!
So happy, really really happy!
I'm sure the freshies had fun too (:

So fast, one camp down, one more to go.
those memories, ahhh.

today was the highly anticipated day.
along with the lecturers, the team went to Les Amis for lunch,
its an unforgetable experience, the food left me with an awe
the taste profile for each dish was unique and exquisite.
different yet familiar, bringing familair flavours together.
the foie gras ravioli consomme was probably the best.
egg confit with black truffle was great, first time i finished my egg yolk
amuse bouche was prawn wanton with basil leaf, its like eureka.
blood orange reduction works well with lemon thyme and yellowtail, fantastic.
main course was mediocre, pigeon was too rare for me.
bloody and all, even though i requested for medium.
should have opted for a wagyu though.
elderflower soup with assorted berries was refreshing but something i gobble down at iggy's, so nothing special for me.
carrot fondant was the most amazing dessert i've tasted.
nothing else.
then, we met terence from CCM who was interning there, how i wished i was in his shoes.

this meal is the epitome of f&b/service,
it has allowed me to rediscover the reason i entered TP for HTM
how bloody niar with his lousy presentation at sjc could convince me to enter that course and nothing else, despite my interest in marine life at SP.
lately, without ssm, without thursday class, i felt service was a bore.
and work at ritz was boring, i was really craving for some fine dining service,
to learn more and many other reasons, but i couldnt
both because time didnt allow me to and i was tied down.
i lost my flair, the confidence to present, the sensitivity towards guests
and the attitude to service.
but today, was the day i witness real service.
nowhere in singapore can compare to how the server and sommelier served, communicate and just being themselves.
not even there, prob cause i worked there beefore, prob cause i saw the bad side of them.
but service there was only average compared to what i experienced today.
rankings dont stand, quality do.
now, there's a benchmark for me to achieve and i really am going to work towards that from now onawrds.
I feel the passion burning, once again.

2008-04-02T08:55:00.000-07:00

I'm so distracted by everything.
Every single thing, whatever happened to baking during the hols and everything?
Which reminds me, I have yet gotten my desserts book from PageOne

Today, I called POSB to enquiry about my UserPin for IBanking
because I stupidly deleted the page without taking it down
He asked a whole lot of questions, annoying shit
But he had a yummy voice though, though he could be a psychiatrist instead.
whatever for? to cure the empty hearts of those lonely souls out there (cues self to shut up)
and he asked me this question:
"Is this your salary account?"
stuns, why on earth would a POSB customer service guy ask me such a thing?
Probably because it was so short of money to be considered a bank account?
So, I said no,
lying of course cause thats where I get my salary from,
BUT I AM LEGALLY A STUDENT.

Been reading blogs, instead of wine notes and what not bar stuff,
am super guilty alright.
I guess it stimulates my thinking, how they address issues and the different sides of truth.
It was good, moody no more.

But wait, I am now awfully annoyed at how lazy I am
I havent been shedding those pounds I've gained.
and with a bf with only one annoying, frustrating and arrrr answer, "THEN HOW?"
its not my fault im blessed with such physique,
at least i can do stuff 40% of the entire women population cant do.
okay, make it 30% la.
but I am still affected,
Is it that important to look healthy?
DUH.

Holidays are coming to an end & this holidays havent been pretty exciting, probably the last I am enjoying.
2 more weeks, minus one for FO.
I am gonna enjoy this!

2008-04-02T07:13:00.001-07:00

K: What rhymes with 'mood'?
N: SWING!

right.
hahahahaha.
i think period is coming, im grumpy.
training earlyyy tmr again.
rarrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

2008-04-01T09:21:00.000-07:00

Here's something to blog about!
I am officially back from Penang.
It was pretty bad, nothing exciting,
I thought there would be nice lanscapes for me to shoot,
taking my photography skills to the next level but NO.
there was only a hill, many old houses, i can find nicer ones in spore
and the occasionally extincted items like the red public telephone
all in all, no entertainment.
ahhh, but this dish at the wedding dinner was nice, curry prawns in some french loaf thing.
and they call herbal chicken, TONG(silver) ZI(paper) YAO CHAI(herbs) ZI(chicken)
which actually meant aluminuim paper herbal chicken.
yakyak.

and there's soemthing wrong with my laptop, seriously.
all my documents are going haywire.
and i must complain, myfrekaiingggg portfolio i was supposed to hand in on friday was MISSINGG
so i had to rush it al out before i catch the bus,
thanks to exco, it was out!
love you guyss!!!

FO is coming, cant wait, but i dont want it to come.
you know that kinda feelings, new comes and old goes.
plus, its grueling 7 days okay? zomg.
i need red bullss.

Today was pretty bad, i guess?
If there was a word or two that could sum things up, that would be "mundane" or "moodless"
I felt practically useless, other than the saigang parts.
I cant help but feel sad and disappointed with myself.
Because since the beginning I knew I wanted to do this.
Since that morning in skills when they came to find me.
Its sad, the news was devastating.
But it was alright because I knew I didnt give in my best,
because if I did, things would or would not change, but at least I'd feel better.
I guess it'll take some time, a little while more for me, to get over it
Even though I have been hiding it real well, but today was just, pretty over the top.
And I've learnt that there are so amny things I know nothing of in service.
If there's a junior coming up to me, asking is service is difficult.
I would now say, "No, its not if you want to make it easy, but if you want to excel, thats when the hard part comes in"
Like seriously, how wasy is it to provide bad service, to anyone?
Simple right?
But tip top service? It takes years of practice and agilility, accompanied with experience to sniff the wine and tell what it is, or to look at an item and tell whats lacking, and even to taste whats too overpowering.
I am trying to achieve that.
And now, I am worrying.
Yar yar, what on earth am I worrying about right? I've got quarter of my ass covered.
Let me see, covered with... dreams and fantasy and nothing realistic?
Results and resume might be a thing in this industry, but there are so many factors that matter more.
and that is what many here lack, my results wont get me anywhere, so imfalling back on myself.
its tough, i know, i've heard and seen, and i dont care.
But the only worry now is, I've seen to lost it all.
My personality, charisma, flair and confidence.
Its diffcult to believe but as time goes by, I really realise that I've lost touch with me.
I mean, no offence but working at ritz wont get me anywhere near an OSIP or something else,
I dont even get to open a freaking wine bottle.
If you ask me to portion for 1000 pax, like hello? bring it on, with 9 other servers. (100 pax each la, that the max HOR. ahah)
but I love the love of my life for he always says,
"Every guest is a VIP", that's how I serve.

I know, all my friends say I worry too much about my future.
But I'm sorry, in my family, I have nothing to fall back on.
My grandmother's sugar cane store?
My mum's job at the airport?
My dad's job at Siahuat?
My uncle's construction company?
My uncle's past, with drugs and what not?
Or mayb, just maybe, daddy's chain of lamian stores?
the last one, probably.
but im not into it.

See, its not that I worry myself too much,
its just, you have to work out the path that you want to take,
no one can defy anything that you want to do, head for it.
Even now, in this line, there are so many areas to venture to.
and I am lost.
I need directions, I need directions alll the time.
So, I'm finding, I'm searching for where I belong.
Whatever's my calling, I know I want it
and I am going to put in my best and excel in it.

Meanwhile.. emmanuel, I pray and hpe you'll judge us,
So I can stand by the side and watch you.
HAHAHAHAHAHA. yucks.

yes yes, shut up.
there's trainin tmr,
go and find yourself, girl!

nownow, thought I wouldnt need to entertain all these anonymous thing after lets see.. secondary 1?
(rmb rmb?? hahah, we were so wierd back thenn... the names we called ourselves)
oh well, first, thank you to BIG random for helping me speak while i was away, please show yrself secretly. HAH
and to random, firstly, like i said, I didnt state that I was refering to daphne
secondly, this is my blog and i can say whatever i want, freedom of speech aye.
thirdly, that was merely a comment on the comparison between the rich and the poor or not so well off.
fourthly, there wasnt any name calling or insults or anything unworthy to put on my blog, so yes, I think the second paragraph of yr tag was pretty redundant.
fifth, I know how its like to have annoying people tagging anonymous posts and talking about things that do not concern them.
and I am not saying anything bad, plus, i remained the identity anonymous, as well.
mayb you would love to blame yourself for letting the cat out of the bag.
and erm, i certainly do not think that her getting a private blog is any of my concern since i am her friend alrdy? and it was the only way to keep pests away.
lastly, I love her and her blog and i would never do anything as stupid as leaving insulting posts or anonymous tags blabbering about her.
only jealous people do those kinda things, and i know you are only concern.
fear not because that post was not a jealousy post, it was more of envious
so yeah, you can rest assure on that, okay?
i would only need to seek your understanding on this matter.
thank you!

with a big smile,

:)

2008-03-24T10:58:00.000-07:00

hello to myself

haven't been feeling pretty good these days.
the late nights and the bad weather.
i gave OTC Refresh 2 a miss today.
I feel so bad I hated myself for falling ill.
was a bit feverish the night before already, after meeting von and the girls.
took a cab home from sengkang, so dumb.
still felt nausea and constipated and bloated by.. nothing
because i had nothing the day before.
and now, worrying about so many things.
retreat, applications for cca awards and all, refresh, penang, dnd speech,
TDT training and my comittement problems since its FO week.
im dying by the time i finished sending all those emails.
pissed at myself for the committement level,
and i realise, i am going to put a stop to this all, next year.
come on kim, one to two more months.
i guess its just the exhaustion and how this illness is draining my energy and attention span.
i cant even believe i sent all those emails in perfect english and this post.
but i just needed to blog.
to let it gooooooooo.

to Mr B, please do take care of that virus inside you.
we are so meant to be together, falling ill, looking like crap, pale faced ghosts.
i love you.

to Von, Elene and XH,
i cannot express my gratitude to all your work and committement to refresh 2
thank you so much.
i hope the little i did could help you girls a tiny weent little bit.

to TDT,
im sorry wasnt there today.

to loners,
sorry i wasnt there too

okay, blurry vision already.
medicine in charge, taking over
goodnight

Empty Promises

2008-03-23T00:05:00.000-07:00

"Why do you seem to be in so much pain?"

I didn't know what mummy said could affect me so much.
Probably because it's true.
And the fact that I have been hiding from it makes me feel even worst inside.
I don't even feel anything anymore.

2008-03-21T04:59:00.000-07:00

Im feeeling grumpy all day.
They had to go all the way to Katong for family lunch today.
Nearly an hour's ride, didnt help with a sore body.
Thought I could spend the PH differently, but no,
I was wrong.
I am always wrong, because I assume.
Should have freakkin worked because staying home is a waste of time.
Thinking it would be a nice day, but no,
I was wrong.
I am always wrong, because I assume.
...

Ah, better stop before legs start kicking around and starts the blame pushing game again.
Indeed, a bad day.

Sorry am not game for the play today, loners!
Hope to see you all on Mon!

With Love,

2008-03-20T10:58:00.000-07:00

You know, its so ironic.
When I click on sgtrades and blah blah blah.
You see these people trying to sell all the used clothes and stuff.
Prices ranging from, 20 to at most 50..
You think, its steep?

And then I click on someone's lj.
Friends commenting whether they should get the brown, black, blue AA hoodie or all of it?
Flying to NY today, next week, London, Art fest and what not.
And not one, but dozen of Balenciaga bags, only because the bf likes a prticular colour.
Doctor boyfriend.
Getting into Stamford like nobody's business, talking about the fees and grades.

Not that I'm complaining, but life isnt fair.
Or, is it?

2008-03-20T08:51:00.000-07:00

I shouldn't be alive.

Notorious and freedom.
The paradox of life, I heard that phrase a million times all night during dinner the other day
As Mr and Mrs M. yaked on about paradox of Larry's life
Whoever this larry was, I gave no shit about it.
All I wanted was to end this whole dinner and get my pay.

Oh well, the attempt to walk back from Roseburn Road to Poh Huat Road was unsuccessful.
We only made it to erm, ubi road?
but its pretty far already!
Saved on the midnight charges.

I have never smelled anything as bad as this,
it smells like rotten eggs with bananas and everything bad.
something like bananafleas, teehee.
I have never heard anything as loud as this,
it sound as if there were 5 speakers blasting from beneath.
I have never seen anything as complex,
black, brown, soft and hard.
hahahah, guess what im talking about?
food poisoning la.

I made ermmm, preserved mussels with scallops and shitake mushrooms.
Dont ask me what the hell I'm doing la,
But I just did.
and the whole bottle of parsley flakes are not secured with the cover and it happily garnished my pasta dish
I think it was the sweat as well.
Ah, whatever la, anyhow anyhow get it somehow!

okay, the long long talk was well deserved,
after keeping it in for such a long time.
I'm feeling much better.
soem things are not meant to be heard from you, so dont speak
seriously, life is just unfair.
Like what I said few posts back,
sometimes, all we need is a change. for someone with no politically correct answers and
for someone who will reply with how they really feel.
i guess, we both metthat person last night?
and it felt great.
but this epitome of bliss and satisfactory soon diminishes
as we both fall back into relaity where i had to go back to where i was
and so did you.
btu at least, we know and recognise that feeling of similarity once again.
thanks sock.

after much deliberation, i figured.
everything in life is balanced out.
by how i described everything last night,
it seems fair to pass that judgement,
more or less, its not a judgement anymore
because its the truth already.
All the things not fulfilled, let me embark on these journeys now.

sometimes, all we need is to experience death once
so as to treasure what we missed ystd.
yeah yeah, shut up kim

2008-03-16T09:34:00.000-07:00

The TV sits on the floor of the dining room while we eat dinner. Henry refuses to answer any questions about it, and makes a point of teasing me by asking what I would do if I had a huge studio.
"What does it matter? I have a closet. Maybe I'll take up origami."
"Come on, seriously."
"I don't know." I twirl the linguine onto my fork. "I would make every maquette one hundred times bigger. I'd draw on ten-fot-by-ten-foot pieces of cotton rag paper. I would wear roller skates to get from one end to the other. I'd set up huge vats, and a Japanese drying system, and a ten pound Reina beater..."
I'm captivated by my mental image of this imaginary studio, but then I remembered my real studio, and I shrug. "Oh well, maybe someday."

"Oh well, maybe someday."
This sentence lingers in my head for a second or two,
as I read on, it keeps on coming back.
I check my watch, I've been reading for half an hour or so,
and this part of the story keeps coming back to my mind.
I know why, I clearly knows why.

Someday, I will walk out of the cage melted by those thick iron and brass
Like a colourful tropical yet exotic bird, captured inside.
The alluring grace emitted with every pose, every limb that moved.
I will fold cranes and hang them on the ceiling all around my room,
red, blue, fuschia, pink, black, white, and a bir red one in the middle.
And I'll stick cellophone paper on the windows,
with different shapes and sizes cutted out,
allowing the sunlight to penetrate through the blue cellophhine paper,
casting a blue shadow on the walls of the room.
Its beautiful.

Someday, I will expand my horizon to the world.
Making my voice heard, or letting my masterpieces speak for themselves.
No eleborate decoration and expensive chinaware, nothing.
Just simplicity, gestures of sincerity and passion and warmth.
I will make them feel all of this at once, and yearning for more at the next visit.
They say, "Action speaks louder than words.."
Its true.

Someday, I will stop procrastinating and get this lazy assdown to work
Dusts off the dirt formed after 18 years of fun, pleasure and plain laziness.
I will force my way to achieve the best,
to prove to the world that I am neither stupid nor am I a procrastinator.
I will fight against all odds to emerge the best that I can be, in my own eyes.
I will stop beating myself up inside and think that, "Come on, you could have done better!"
Because I want to beat "better" and be the best that I can see in myself.
I know, I should have done it many years back, but, its never too late to start.
I will achieve it, and even if like what Straits Times' Headline news say about entry to Unis..
"Outstanding Is Only Average"
I know, I have beaten myself and that is where we all should start from.

Someday, I will stop thinking about these nonsensical things that leaves me sleepless, paranoid and affected.
I will live my life, for myself, for my family, for my god family, for my baby, for my friends and for myself.
I know many would say that I'm selfish, I am ony human, I know where I stand and I want to remain here, safe from the world before its too late.
I know myself better than any of you, I folow the heart one too many times and it may not be the way this works. But before its settled that its the way the law goes, let me follow my heart once more.
I know what makes me happiest, without all these problems and responsibilities. And all I want is to leave a happy ending, before its all too late.
I know I am willing to accept whatever that have been thrown to me, because I know I havent given the all I thought I could, I havent received the all I thought I could, I havent.
Before its too late, I will walk away.

Someday, I will have a heart made of stone, it will be harder so I dont feel the slightest things that may make me feel.
I will stop and reject any negative feelings that may come across myself or anything.
I will not react the way that I used to do, avoiding all these trouble, anything negative.
I will think positive thoughts and block out any signs of pessimisim (no such wordplease.. )
I will be happy.

Wouldn't it be nice?

Now, I have a super bad craving for MAHJONG cause jessybessy extended an invitation and i cant make it tmr!!!
and I HAVE THIS SUPER DUPER DUPER DUPER DUPER BAD CRAVING FOR THIS CADBURY EGGS THING!!

Was on the bus, sitting on the 3seater seats just behind the driver.
Due to the lack of time and poor time management,
I had not included my ipod and storybook into my bag.
that leaves me with nothing but my vision and my wandering mind.
And the only object that interests me was the Ez Link machine
God, you cannot imagine the amount of money people adds into their ezlink card.
$50.96, $9.27, $28.12, $68.01 and the pathetic, $0.79
it proves how much Singaporeans spend on transportation,
this increase in the disposable income is not due to overwhelming shopping expenses,
its about transporattion and everything else.
And the evil me came to take over as I was constantly eyeing that $68.01 woman
how much things I could with her ezlink card, tsktsk.
Until I realised I was on 27 and she was gg to the high security (maybe higher now since MAS SELAMAT is on the run) Changi Airport.
ohhhhlaa, so I alighted and waited for another mundane day at school...

I need a break, long one?
I need money, fast.
I realise there are so many things you can do and you can do for others with money.
zzomg,and this work experience thing is so gonna help me
and i ought to start now.
if only I had a suitable place, like reputable, not stinky ***Z.
*HINTS BIG TIME TO KRISSY AND TMNT*
either one place would do.

oh well, another borrring monday in schhol with meetings and what not...
alalalalalala.
im glad von and i met up today, loves the girl!

oh, lastly,
I FKING HATE PEOPLE WHO ASSUMES THAT THEY KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT THE WORLD AND THE PEOPLE AND THEY YAKE LIKE THEY ARE SOME ROBOT WITH SUPERB MEMORY WITH REGARDS TO THE PERSON'S LIFE.
COMEON, SHUT UP ALREADY.
ARGGGHH.

Quote: Time Traveller's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger

2008-03-10T11:08:00.000-07:00

Hello, first shoutout to Glenn for sending me a msg at work
assuring that he is my BBF forever.
BESTBUDSFOREVER because he will be there (:
HOORAY!
sorry couldnt go cheers with you :(
i go there 5 times, back and forth, with you again k?HAHA

second shout out to kahyuen for attending WRKSHOP just to see poweranger.
HAHAHA, NOT!
i bet you enjoyed yrself right!
i want my dvd soon!! hahahahahahahhaah
but still ,thanks for making it even though it was so last min
and morning callsssssss (twice leh, so ncie)
and tuna sandwich
and being there (:
i love fingers!

third shoutout to TPVC, especially Serena! as well as Sarah, Yvonne, Zain and Gibson.
Im sure 6 of us are glad no one else came cause we would ahve to share the cameras and
the timing wouldnt have allowed for that (:
So yeah, private tuition leh... you think everyday can?
we did great, hope there would be advanced soon!!!
AHAHAHHAHAH!
love SU and VC, forever!

fourth to TAN SOCK NENG who is feeling a bit blue today.
heck mother nature for granting us women with pms.
its okay, things will turn out fine soon!
dont stop loving yourself okay!

fifth to TDTeam,
hello, we had fun today.
today must be the day i shouted 'pohsuan' in a disgusting voice, as disgusting as theperson, for the most number of times.
today must be the day perlynn was my host twice
todaymust be the day i am finally the host
today must be the day pohsuan was the hose the most no. of times
today must be the day krissy used a double handle
today must be the day daniel chia realised sock's double handle has a powerful small blade
today must be the day we realise french, spanish and italian is like... !@#$%^&
today must be the day i served Naswara Borolo and Waipara West, Pinot Noir 2004, twice each
today must be the day we poured real white wine into glasses and pour them away without even drinking
today must be the day mr sim called pohsuan 'power' for the first time
today must be the day krissy shot kimberly the 'you are so bimbotic' look for the first time
today must be the day i found out i like my buttons to stick out, like golden ones?
today must be the day i finally get to have my 805 black pepper pork, NOT NICE LER.
today must be the day sock had the most amazing tasting Iced Lemon Tea ever. HAHA
today must be the day i woke up the earliest, with 4 morning calls, NONE FROM TMNT HUH?
today must be the day nic finally feel it might be alright to let me wrk at somewhere starts with "I" better than a new place like "A.." HAHA
& today must be the day daniel chia felt most awkward with us, HAHA! its okay ler, we dont bite.

hahaha, today is a very high day.
oh, pay mummy $210 back asap!!!
k bye!

-

JUST AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE AN INTERESTING POST,
A HAPPY ONE..
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED...
YOU THINK YOU KNOW ALOT ABOUT ME?
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ME?
YAKE AND YAKE AND YAKE AND YAKE
GIVE THEM A BREAK, GIVE ME A BREAK
ENOUGH. SHUT THE F UP WILL YOU?
MY LOVED ONES KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT ME,
AND THAT SHALLL COME FROM ME, NOT YOU.
GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT FIRST.
THANKS!

2008-03-09T09:22:00.000-07:00

hello.
sometimes, all i need is an LJ to lock all my journals and entries.
so i can say whatever i want and never look back, only to reflect.
sometimes, i have so many things to say
just before i forget them all.
sometimes, i need someone to be there as a friend.
but there can be so many variations of friends.
friends who are there to tell you its okay
friends who are there to let you know you were on their mind
friends who flare up at you when you make the silliest mistakes.
but sometimes, all i need is a friend who will take away that identity and
listen to me like a real friend.
someone i can share my darkest secrets with,
someone i can trust and knowing things will not leak out
someone i can really pour and vomit my thoughts and beliefs and everything to.
someone i can not receive ten year series answers from
someone i can believe does not put on a font in front of me
someone i can let them know this friend of ours is irritating me without worrying
someone i can enturst the jealousy i have for the things in life
please, just bless me with one such friend.
one would be enough.

2008-03-09T07:32:00.000-07:00

hello!

yeasterday was great, had fun serving with sock!
well, it was challenging without anoyone to tell you what to do.
but we mananged!
alot alot of important but we dont know guests.
and I finally saw Mr Mahbubani,
I thought he would be mean and tall and terrorizing.
but no, he was pretty small, rather deaf at times. HAHA
i have to repeat like 5 times, with the last nearly shouting.
HAHA, intimidating but adorable lar.

I must say, Sock and I did a great job coordinating amongst ourselves.
our likes and dislikes balances out evenly.
like i would prefer pouring wine and she prefered settling the important stuff like kitchen blah.
I havent had a partner like that for a damnlong time since
Ritz keeps on chasing nice employees away.
Oh, son was cute, RIGHT SOCK??

We treated ourselves to some good drinks after session.
Yeah, this is probably the best paying job ever.

oh well.
Looking through the messages for the past 6 months.
Some made me laugh, some make me smile,
Some made me think, some made me frown.
And the message where you asked the question,
the times when we missed each other like crazy.
I entered the calender,
hand blocking the rays from my eyes.
Click my way down, when I open my eyes,
exactly at 19th December 2008.
And you called, my eyes started welling up, I gave in.
"Lets not fight anymore?"
With a weak and surrendered tone,
I murmured, "Okay, I love you"

its what you do to me.

2008-03-07T09:37:00.000-08:00

Anoter chapter, one after another, it slowly comes to an end.
Freedom and anxiety slowly, silently, creeping into me.
It has come to an end.

Like Sandy, I hate losing things.
In fact, I hate losing.
Like Sandy, I looked cool and calm.
In fact, a million thoughs, billion visions surface.
Like Sandy, I suffer from sleepless nights, thinking about the missing.
In fact, I think about the lost and the irony of having something good to replace the bad we've lost. So ironic, I could laugh out loud to myself.

At night, I cramp up, my lips, my eyes, my sockets, my mind, my head, my fists, my limbs, my entire body.
I lay awake, thinking about the 'lost' and 'found', the stories, new memories.
As I close this book, I shivered.
My life, my mind, my time, all devoted to this book.
This little black book, "A place called Here".
Full of secrets and lies, tears and joy, fantasies and reality.

Like the book, I laid there beaten.
Like a bird that once soared now liedefeated on the ground, a broken wing stopping his flight, many more borken parts.
The few attempts to address these issues, the more still I laid.
Choosing to ignore, to overlook, to divert everyone's attention away from Sandy's flaws, away from my flaws.
Sandy ran, I ran.

Like Sandy, I came back, I come back all the time.
Giving myself one more chance, giving this one more chance, seeking one more chance from the ones I loved.
Because I loved and fell and loved again.

Everything is swaying, like how a criminal in New York during the Think-Positive campaign which helped lower the crime rates.
Blood splashed over the crime scene, the knife slit across the thin blood vessel of the victim.
Or to watch him walk home, without harm, in that dark and creepy alley to be greeted by the aroma of the roasted chicken, mashed potatoes and sauteed eggplants.
And him, making his exit, either with a smirk of content or shunder at his sudden change in behaviour.
I make choices.

After running for such a long time, feeling all pumped up, adrenaline rushing to my head.
Thump, thump, thump.
I'm found, I found what I had been looking for.
Just like Sandy, she found Jenny-May.
And I hope, the next person will find what he or she has been looking for, and be found.

A Place Called Here, Cecelia Ahern

2008-03-07T09:28:00.000-08:00

HELLO No. 364!

Supposed to work with ahsock on thursday
but it turns out to be briefing only
Mrs Mahbubani was really nice,
50bucks for 2 and a half hrs of listening to her talk.
we are not bad huh?
Better do a good job tmr,
and will prob get MORE!!

oh well, we tried to call on onelove for a gathering,
since we had the permission to reach home at like.. 1?
hahaha
but it turns out the rest of the loves were dead tired or had plans
so the both of us went to grapevine
it was quiet, until i spilt hoegaarden on ahsock.
SO SORRY. grapevine should stop assuming thier guests had short legs and push the cushion further away from the taable ler.
was really really quiet until sock unlocked that gate
and we started to talk and i poured my heart out,
for the very first time.
things i havenot let anyone else know. roar.
thank you sock.

walked to like kovan and realised Mas Selamat might be lurking around.
so we took a cab so uncle will turn into the dark alley without us walking in. HAHA!
home, waited, read, slept.

eyes were really puffy this morning when i woke up.
like swollen and red, looked like a freakkin goldfish.
so had to give mtg and tca a miss.
so sorryy people!

Went to Brewerks the other day,
met up with some old friends and met new ones,
things turned out okay.
im glad everyone is back to almost-normal.
life still goes on aye.
kim, we'llwait for you the next time after yr exams!
and terence, justin and kim, its mahjong time!

2008-03-04T09:36:00.000-08:00

HELLO.
roar.
my
parents
are
sick.

Not
1
but
2,
both
i
mean

my
blog
is
so
boring

i
want
to
change
to
lj

i
want
alot
of
money,
and
it
doesnt
seem
like
im
alone

so
i
want
to
become
money
in
my
next
life
so
i
can
feel
wanted

but
money
is
the
root
of
all
evils
(that came out for my Olvl oral please)

so
shut
up
and
talk
properly

1)I love boyfriend!
I realise it was ermm.. our first leap year together, yippee, one bonus day spent tgthr at KL whining at my endless shopping spress and long hours in changing room
argh. doesnt sound romantic at all pls.

2) Don't ask me why I went there again, its like this tiny habit I cannot kick.

Have you ever wondered,
whether you control your life,
or does time really controls you?

Look, we wake up at 7, puts on the dead uniform and goes to school.
bell rings, change class, bell rings, end school.
alarm rings, head for school.
its like dead, so dead.
Dont deny, time controls you.

I'm done.
I'm sick of it,
I'm glad.
No more.

2008-03-01T12:15:00.000-08:00

hello to the world,
something is fiuckking wrong with my laptop
becuase every letter i type, my whole screen shakes.
zzomg, scares the shit outta me.
stay healthy lappy!

ALRIGHT!!
IM BACK FROM GENT-BORRRR-INGG!!
nah, nothing much to do for two lovestruck teenagers,
accompanied by the maiden's parents.
who were like the legendary du wang and du hou.
we got a taste of it when we arrive at 4 am with no hotel room

parents already at casino at 4 am!!
and no good night's rest and we had to like drift from Highlands to First World and back 5 times
until it was 12 pm,check in time.
only to figure out that our rooms were not ready and it would be at like 2.
almost 10 hours after we offically checked in.
nic was frekkin pissedd.

some shopping around.
freakking genting should do some upgrading seriously.
there was only a 'new' mango outlet,
its like a outler for them to dump sale but nobody want items.
lala, marrybrown was bad.
nic's RM 15 wanton noodles taste fantastic.
but somebody caught a cold, so it probably tasted like rubberbands to him.
first night was great.

Day 2 was KL!
and we went to MegaMall!
its damn big, with all the nice shops.
i swear i spent like 1 hr at topshop saving my parents from spending money at the casino and
in my wardrobe.
YES, i did it. hahahahaah.
labels: high maintenance.

they had HK Kim Gary there, great food.
and mum was darn cute,
"Nic, if you and Kim open a restaurant in future,
you can call it Kim Nic too!"
i was screaming inside,
"YEAH, LIKE REAL. SOMEONE WANNA CALL HIS RESTUARANT
nicky's"
duh-ho.

dinner at sock's recommendation place.
shuning, their standards deteradte ler.
is not nice anymore!! :(
but shujiaos are delicious.

midnight shopping with the boyfriend.
zomg, only ONE polo tee in 2 days.
shopping with him is a pain in the ***
but, its okay. because he claims he's SPECIAL.
HE DEMANDS HIGH STANDARDS.
okay, fine
i'll get you tshirts for every occasion,
lets see if you 'll wear them!

day threeee,
lunch at hainan place.
escalope was pronounced escalope, not lo-pe.
someone laughed at me.
and the legends abadon bfandi with the bags and luggages and went for like.... an hour of donation session to the already rich genting casino.
we settle for like the 500,000,000th starbucks we saw at that place and talked.

well, these past few days were quality time spent with my loved ones.
have never done so for donkey years.
on top of the assingments and late meetings.
i finally realise whats most important to me.
a meal with them, listening to the stories and everything.
life is great.

on alighter ntoe, i miss my friends.
its the hols, date me!
can you see that?
No?

DATE ME!
thanks (:

cher liang, you dont like stripe shirts right?
haiyoh, this shirt is stripy leh.

2008-02-25T08:08:00.001-08:00

its times like this when i wish i was rich

lauch my own line of clothes, probably called, the black rose, K & C, linda and kimberly, so cheesy i know, it proabably wont come true anyway.
get a big ass camera and explore the world through these cammiee lens
buy sock's sister her soccer stuff, HA!
buy sock a new computer, HA!
something else sock wanted to do when she's rich!
buy identical laptop for ONELOVE
buy delivery service of unlimited hargao to LONERS
buy baby itouch
buy mum her car
buy mum her walk-in wardrobe
wait, mum will be rich alrdy, mum BUY ME THESE STUFF
dad and endless burberry shirts, i knw he loves them.
ah ma and a painful-less joints.
ah poh and gazillion painkillers with no side effects
mummy and a singing career
daddy and his ever-flourishing fnb business
sister and zillion things i was never able to give her, and my love for her.
godsister and family with a house, no, bungalow and cedric's playground with swimming pool and go-cart.
my pony (:
50000000000000 LV bags
100% shares of TOPSHOP and ZARA and ermm.. i still like CHANEL more.

okay, DREAM ON.

2008-02-25T07:13:00.000-08:00

SOOOOOO,
(HELLO GRACE!here's for telling me you read my blog!! (: loveandmiss everyoneatZilra)

after ahmeng told me how heartless I was when i talked so much about my private life,
and a lil portion about OL only.
NAHHH..

Today was (un)officially OL day where everyone wore the retarded(not), identical t-shirts bought by KRRRIISSSYY all de way from bkk!
we looked wierd, but its okay yeah. laughs.
but at the end of the day, i guessed we looked cool cause a million people asked me about the tshirt.
i was so tired explaining, when huiting asked me if i was wearing a COUPLE shirt with KENNY, i just nod my head.
(ROARS AT SELF INSIDE HEAD: KENNYYY LEHHHH!! hah (: )
i still lve you kenny.

Let me share some jokes with you.
The other day, I was ordering Chicken Chop with Rice.
Because I was sick and I insisted in having Western Food, hur.
So Nic ordered, told him to ask aunty to put more sauce,
She replied," Alot of sauce already, the chicken all WET!'
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!
I laughed like hell, he had to drag me away, literally.

So, Sock's Joke.
Once, there was two mouse,
Mouse A told Mouse B,
"Hey hey, I've got this really hot girlfriend, you wanna see?"
Mouse A shows picture,
Mouse B blatantly replied,
"Please lor, isnt this a bat?"
Mouse A: "YAR, she's an air stewardess what!! hot right?"

hur, and one love insist that the joke was that the mouse could talk and they carried a picture with them.
and then it ended with Mouse B got wet when he saw the photo.
ahmeng said that the air stewardess later went for a wet chicken chop. HAHA
ONE LOVE ROCKS!!

So, Accounting was like 40% confidence.
What a joke, Im taking Bus Calculus next sem. :(
worried,hell yeah.

Saturday was Lingy's surprise bday dinner!
So, Tiny and I met to buy the cake first.
Planned to have dinner at Xiao Xuan Feng,
and we had to settle for a table outside, like directly beside entrance to Cartel.
So, We had to set up the cake and all, and i msged kri to stall some time.
lingy had no idea we were there you see.
and Kri,had to bring lingy to view the Cartel menu,
in hope that she'll stall some time for us.
BUT,
she led lingy directly into our direction.
and the funny thing was when Mich saw lingy, she pulled me and we hid underneath the TABLE!
zomg, that was dead hilarious.
and the both of them didnt realise anything when they saw the bday cake on thetable -.-

it was only when i tried to light up the candles and surprise her when kri saw us
and burst out laughing.
plan failed, but motive met!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LINGY! (:

you know, whats the use of having a brog when you cant really say what you wanna say.
sucks right?
i know.
why is it that everytime something happens. the radio'll play my all time favourite song,
"Oh, its what you do to me.."
seriously, its what you do to me.
too much of the 'L' word probably?
sometimes, i wanna kill myself for contradicting myself all the time.
but, at the end of the day,
i really know whats the answer,
that i really care for you, because i 'L' you.
now, where are you?

2008-02-21T08:53:00.000-08:00

HIHIHIHI (:

I am so excited!
Because someone blogged about OL Reunion dinner!
Please scroll down to the links section and click SOCK
and read on (:

I really love these people, they are like the love love love
So I missed some action but its okay, because I know psuan and I were on their minds (:
And Seriously, it felt good with the girls inside playing with WEE and the guys out at the corridor talking to Daddy.

Still, something left me wondering.
Lovely Saveable, Iwill be there for you to talk to if you let me.
Please stop killing yourself with the many sticks you consume.
Just rmb, I am here.

Studying with Ash and Ky on Wed.
Then came Hakim and his exciting cat story.
4pm, Ky and Ash RAN into starbucks!
"HURRYY!! AH LONNGG STARTS IN 10 MINSS!!"
so yeah, we left our books and went for ah long.
and i cannot stop singing...
AH LOONG LONGG LONGG, LALA LONGG LONG LONGG!!!
then amos came
then weng came
diet at mac's, k sisters shared Prosperity Meal.
Home-d with AMOS alone at interchange!

Not enough of Ky,
we met today to get long awaited GOLD CASIO (:
cool shit. uncle kena bullied by us again, sighh, HAHAHAHA
love this man!
study, TMNT came, home to slp
and i woek up at 8, WTH!

Well, was trying to study and this came to me mind.
If I will become Hi Bye friends with this group of great pals I have met.
Tiny mentioned that she onloy saw me about... 20 times this sem!
Junner was pro-meetups and dancing with lil kim, (LIL KNOW!)
Sock the mom with idoms and all,
Kri kri, we wont right?
these people gave me the encouragements, they know me inside out upside down
they were there to dry my tears, they were there to go wild with.
they came when i whine, they comfort when im troubled
they leave me alone when im angry. (smart choice)
There are many more I wanna msg, but they're flooding my inbox alrdy.

You know, in Secondary school, I've met many good friends.
But I have let them slipped out of my life, with the little meetups we have.
Its sad, its really sad.
But now, I've met this really great group of people,
with undying love for one another.
I really dont want this to end.
If you think I know the world,you're wrong.
I would die for 1 bestfriend than 10 hi bye friends.
So yes, please dont mistake me that I have a gazillion friends other than all of you.
I really love all of you and I dont want this to end!
Please meet up.

Ms Tan, I am your friend, literally, I read the posts, I hope you're okay.
Ms Seah, english too chim, please explain when you get the time, i love you.
Ms Neng (not), thanks for the OL post, love it! and i think you are improving know, like slowly, mama will let alrdy!
Ms Ng, You better go read the spirits and liquer book with me soon okay!
Ms Tiny, we must start praying already, BUS CAL, TOGETHER!!
Ms Tsai, hello jolin, haha, not funny. dance, not wasted, fun,get high, with you all day!
Ms Kwek, transfer la!!!!!!!!! come and not be hibye okay! we can draw graphs together all day!
Ms Lai, we buy more identical stuf okay (: I'll be sourcing..
Ms Sua, you are the old school love, since 2003. 5 years, and many more. do you knwo you are so impt you will be my bridesmaid at my wedding?
Ms De Silva, I hope results are oaky, i miss you loads,i want kangkong and staircase with you.
Mr Tan, WHERE IS MY SEAWEEDD??? okay oaky,no hokkaido, i know.
Mr Chong, I will always be here to give you a hug okay!
Mr Errr, errr, I really like your car, but not the songs. Meng, i burn angmoh cd for you okay!
Mr Long, im sorry i didnt let you know, but i just thought it was wierd. but just to let you knw, i really treasure zilra and our friendship.
Mr Sandhu, I will never forget you.
Mr Choo, brother bear, where are you? You haven't cook that lunch you promised (:
Mr Lam, hello shifu, i need to bully you soon. HAHA, HURRY LA, SOCIAL LUNCH!
Mr Chua, how many kids do you watn again? HEHHHHHHH, did not write that.
and the list goes on...

HAH!
please rmb, i love all of you.
and i never want to be hi-bye with you.

2008-02-21T07:01:00.000-08:00

roar.
have anyone noticed the hike in prices at starbucks?
I asked the guy with that cheeky grin that day about it and he merely replied,
"Oh, due to the raise in the rental fees.."
and shot me that I KNOW IT ALL look.
like hello? if you were gonna collect so much,
bloody hell place more lights in your store.
the tamp mall outlet only has 2 holes to tap on nature's sunlight -.-

anyway, i think its a smart move because now,
im more than willing to pay that extra $1.20 for a Venti than the usual Tall at $5.80!

HAHA, way to go starbucks!

2008-02-18T01:52:00.000-08:00

i hate.

i regret.

i love.

i pray.

i live.

i eat.

i indulge.

i curse.

i break.

i stress.

i stop.

because all it'll do is to make people turn away

2008-02-18T00:44:00.000-08:00

Hello hello, to myself probabaly.

The world seems to be missing, or studying.

And its study break, again.

Its the one time where I try to find as many excuses as possible to avoid one thing, STUDY!

So, after working my ass off ystd night,

I woke up to POHSUAN's msg about soemthing like,

NO TANNING BECAUSE ITS STUDY WEEK!!

okay, you win!

couldnt find anything to occupy myself with,

started to whine to sock and pohsuan with tuesday's date.

haha, i think i was really annoying.

because they stopped replying. HAHA!

ehhh, one love leh!

but i was secretly enjoying the session.

Second excuse was the big box of cornflakes.

and whole chunk of chocolate.

so i made some chocolate coated corn flakes!

SO NICE PLEASE!

the highlight is the mess behind okay.

i love photography!

so,

buy me a Canon big jumbo camera (:

Third excuse,
the baking cupboard was sooo messy.
So, without the consent of muah sister because she ish inn netherlandddd..
i cleared up that pig sty.
and its looks as good as new
(:

Fourth excuse,
was to tell you that I came up with the three excuses.

I guess I should really go study noww.

GGUUUUHHHHBBYYYYYEEEEE!!!

2008-02-14T08:10:00.000-08:00

happy valentine's day everyone!

made new passport, early in the morning :(
exchanged vday gifts, cal's xmas trees turned out great!
ben and his very corny hug voucher -.-
jmin's fragile gooides, haha!

jumper-ed with baby!
loiter loiter loiter.
happy vday, mylove!

2008-02-12T07:38:00.000-08:00

HELLO (:

today marks the last day of all assignments, tests and projects!
freedom smells pretty good, and boring.
day spent at vivo with loners minus 2.
some walking around to really destress and not think about stuff

today is good not because Salad Bar aunty could barely recognise me cause she claims i've slimmed down.
and Clar who claimed i've slimmed down.
But because I saw not one but two of my long-lost-bestfriends since year 1!
HELLO KAY! HELLO DEREK!!
Meet up, I promise!
What's busy? NAHHHHH...

anyway, its been three days since i've seen my TMNT,
TMR IS THE DAY (:
we're gonna try and get the passports settled for Genting!

Okay, to do list.
1. ask neoneo about service on sat
2. OTC Refresh
3. Retreat

2008-02-08T08:40:00.000-08:00

HELLOOOO,
its second day of chinese new year and ABs are not piling up like how it used it.
plus, its the first CNY without sister around.
ohmy.
i dont know what else to say but im missing her.

nicholas, please wear the green shirt tmr!

2008-02-04T23:12:00.000-08:00

LIBERATION!!!!!!!

THANK YOU BENEDICT LEE FOR HANDING IN MY REPORT FOR ME!!!

THANK YOU TO SOCK/ KRISSY/ JIAMIN/ XX/ CAL/ BENEDICT FOR LETTING ME PESTER YOU GUYS WITH QNS ALL NIGHT!!!

THANK YOU TO DADDY FOR SLPING EARLY SO I CAN BURN THE MIDNIGHT OIL WITHOUT GETTING SCOLDED EVERY 30 MINS (HE'LL COME TO MY DOOR EVERY 30MINS)

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE FOR NOT TALKING TO ME WHEN IM IN 'BUSY' MODE..

BUT HEY!!

I AM NOT BUSY NOW, SO LET'S TALK :D

OMGOGMGOMG,

LIBEEEEEERRRRRRRAAATTIIIIOONNNNNNNN!!!

2008-02-04T06:28:00.000-08:00

screwed up Issues, so im betting on Reflection to pull my FnE marks up.
but my fried up brain cant seem to think critically.
and my f------ report looks like some shitass primary school shit.
frustrated.
im giving up on the last assignment of the year.

nothing much, i cut my hand while cutting carrots.
im sorry customers of Sugarloaf of the carrots today looked extremely red.
it was bleeding like profusely, thanks Joyce for the plaster
i refused to stop cutting, ha.
screwed up day, i guess so.

F1 guy was hilarious but my mouth wouldnt budge.
sorry loners, i think i made you all worry today.
100% no bangkok with loners i guess,
70% no bangkok with peeps.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRAAAAKKKKKKKK
report is the shit, literally.

2008-02-03T05:14:00.000-08:00

helloooo.

friday was bad, lets not talk about it.
yesterday was hady mirza's concert.
you know, everyone went there thinking it'll be boring and all..
but we were wrong.
hady really can sing, live.
he sounds really good you know!
(:

chuckles, im not being biased okay.
after what they said, but yeah, he's really good.
crowd control was haywire. omg.
those aunites and young girls aye.
but still, TPSU did a great job, especially everyone wher helped out.
GOODJOB GUYS!!

argh, cant help but feel sad whenever i think about it.
i didnt make the cut.
and i got bar. what a blow to maahhh eeeeekkkkkkkkkgg-i-ooooo.
but still, i still somehow made that cut amongst the rest aye?
shouldnt that be something we should all be happy about?
and its not the end of the journey yet.
there's still more to come.
and i hadnt given in my best yet, i know, and i feel goddamn guilty/ regretful about it.
but still, can you see it here?
no you cant, because its inside.

anyway, one last assignment left on the DEADLINES LIST.
im procrastinating like shit.
thanks to mason, i could rush back sch in time.
thanks alot o'pal!

yikes. blow me.

2008-01-31T06:54:00.000-08:00

many a times, i am mistaken for whatever i have said or done.
many a times, i am true for whatever i have said or done.
many a times, many a times.

this is life, we make do.

in life, we gain some and we lose some.
just that, i've lost more.
if i tell you im happy, will you smile and say, "I'm happy for you"?
if i tell you im sad, will you frown and ask, "What can I do for you"?
if i tell you im excited, will you mimick me and jump up and down?
or will you just, "orh." and walk away?
i guess i guess, its what happens when you place friendship into the big circle.

im sad.

2008-01-28T22:19:00.000-08:00

I'm freaking annoyed.
those girls at OHVOLA have better reserved the dress for me.
I freaking laid my eyes on them first.
She had better reserved for me.
Its not my freaking fault she replied me one day later.
F**K ONLINE SHOPPING,
I WANT IT THAT BADLYYY!

Screw all dead buyers and sellers alright.
Krii, we had better not be like them.
Else, I'll give them a refund or something.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF..KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

ROAR!

2008-01-27T03:33:00.001-08:00

while at work with CRS report,
I was constantly distracted by the senrenity and calmness MY (highlight and bolded) customer will be at my resort.
that was my untimate aim, to enjoy and let them enjoy.

& it really came to me that that is what I really want right now.
To break away from school stress, nonsensical matters and just things that draws me away from being me.
& I always think of my friends who dont do this and that, that I do.
and if they'll make me any happier.
I do. I honestly do.

Sometimes we decide on many things because of greed.
Sometimes we chose this over another because of avidity
Sometimes we talk about the bad and not the good because of acceptance, or any form of agreement

Everyone is a teacher in your life, who says you cant teach?
because whether its good or bad, you learn from them.
You walk in other people's life just so you can experience how different their lifes will be
And now, I want to walk in a path that is different from who I am and what I am right now.
But I'm scared, but I know that if you have faith and trust and believe that this path you are about to take is the right path.
Go for it, because there'll be so many people who will understand and will walk this path with you.
But there will be many who questions your answer
But this is the time you shine and you tell them via your actions that its the right path you have chosen for yourself.

Hospitality and Tourism Management, its the path that I have taken.
Nothing will stop me in 08/09, I want to shine.
Let me get into the top Internship companies and emerge with an outstanding resume.
Let me not only get good grade but learn and benefit from them.
Let me inspire others to get into this line and to let other benefit from the hard work my lecturers have putted in, on us.
Let me not only serve but entertain people without dampening my status or principles.
Let me learn/ work/ (clean) as I go, with the competition thats in store for us.
Let me be the best that I can be.

TDT, HTM, chewfamily, nicholaschuacherliang, onelove, 1H02, 2H10, lonersgang, sjcbadminton, zilra, frytho, tpsuexcos0708, tpsuinfinity.
everyone, its gonna be different this year, i promise.
but you are all here to stay.

2008-01-25T06:10:00.000-08:00

VIDEO OF THE CENTURY

the only song that makes me cry when i listen to it

the only song that makes me think of you when it comes to my head

the only song that makes me feel so sad whenever i have it

the only song that perks me up when the songs on the radio gets mundane

VIDEO OF THE DAY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktUSIJEiOug&feature=related

object width="425" height="355">

VIDEO OF THE MOMENT

I know a place that we can go to
A place where no one knows you
They won’t know who we are
I know a place that we can run to
And do those things we want to
They won’t know who we are
Let me take you there
I wanna take you there
I know a place that we’ve forgotten
Get caught in, they won’t know who we are
I know a place where we can hide out
And turn our hearts inside out
They won’t know who we are
Let me take you there
I wanna take you there
Let me take you there
Take you there
Take you there

Baby, I miss you

2008-01-23T08:24:00.000-08:00

my tummy churned when i typed in those words of the devil.
and then, "search".
I read, i couldnt stand it any longer.
and here I am, complaining how ugly one can be after what one had done.
Wasting time once again.

Dont ask me and dont assume like you know me.
Even if all it takes for me is to make you feel negative, i made you feel.

2008-01-21T19:12:00.000-08:00

My dad is the only one in the family who can gets things his way when it comes to me.
The fear of him flaring up and starts yaking like a maniac is the worst memory I could have of him.
He had the guts to drag you out of the house with your belongings letting you stay outside for the night or something, with some conscience, he'll probably throw you your favourite pillow.
Doesnt that make you shiver when you are just 11 or 12 years old?
He'll scream at you like you are nobody, yelling hurtful remarks.
You might think he's mad or he's not a good father.
But he makes you think again, why did my father, the man of the family who hasnt said anything or nag at you , suddenly evolves into that dinosaur attempting to gobble you up.
That's cause you have done enough to push him to that extend.
Its because he cares and he wants you to rest or study or not go out or not fall sick again.
That's my father.

Last night, he came in with those bloodshot eyes, demanding me to go to bed.
"Pa, if I go to bed now, I will fail know."
"You think I care? Go to bed NOW!"
He left the room, took two bottles of the SAME cough medicine.
"I leave them here, I dont care what you want to do, you better finish them up"
Blah, those were the worst cough medicine ever on earth and I would drinking them, thats why I ddraggedddd on and on not wanting to take my medicine,
And yes, i had to drink it in front of him now.
"What time are you going to bed?"
I replied, "Soon."
"WHAT IS SOON?"
"1230, dad" Looking straight at him, showing that I realy am gonna sleep at 1230.
And my dinosaur of the family left the room slamming the door, the accessories and belts hung on my door knocked against my door with a loud thud, fell to the floor.
Picking them up, I cried, knowing he's concerned yet I hadnt done anything to let him not worry.
Kids, such a pain in the ass.
But I slept at 1255 because I was on the phone with baby, haha!

2008-01-18T06:54:00.001-08:00

i've been refreshing and refreshing this page a million and one times and it still doesnt seem to show what i really want to see.

this urge to blog is really getting into me, because my team and i have completed FnE within 2 nights (i was sick on one of them) and it really thrills me when i think about the long hours we battled. whoohoo, i am legend. spell that out for me? nooo.

but thats not what i really want to talk about.
i just cant seem to get that out of me.
and i really dont know whats wrong about everything and everyone.
i know its not about everyone else, its always about me
like how i planned to start on my culi journal due on mon or that speciality coffee research for tmr
and i spent the past few hours looking at entries of people who means nothing to me
but still feel so absurd about life, you, you, school, work and everything else.
this is one of the days i want to open the window and scream at that stranger at my block
"YOU MOTHER F!@$%ING !@#$%^"
for no reason and probably get a finger or a fight after that and feel the cowardity within me and feel back to normal again.
i cant fight, for god's sake, i cant even squeeze your hand.
but you know,i feel like i want it all, but the fact that i cant handle it all.
yet knowing you have to take it all in because this is life.
its hard, isnt it?
the temptations, distractions and voyuerism in life
(i seriously dont know why i typed that probably cause lisachua repeated that word one too many times during tutorial today, and i secretly sense that i might be sufffering from voyuerissmmmmmmmmmm.... not!)
last few words, "gimme, gimme more"

what a wierd entry, you might ask.
this is what happens when you havent slept since 7 am on thurs and took a nap on a stranger's shoulder then sock's shoulder only at 3pm on friday.
how i wish it was some fella's broad, skinny but still so comfortable shoulders.
YES, NCCL, ITS YOU!

whooo, while some couples out there prefer to let the whole world how their partner looks like, how many dimples they have, where and how their poor baby's suffering from that big zit or something, how much they love their bf (count it in like the number of "xXxzzzzz" appeared, the more BIG small bIg sMalL, the better it is).
or others who count how many months/ weeks/ days/ hours/ seconds/ mili-seconds they've been together.

nah, its troublesome. (subjective word, huh, think positive la!)
baby, one month down and the rest of our lifes to go.
i love you and im really happy (:

2008-01-17T19:14:00.000-08:00

HELLLOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

that could be the most cheerful welcome note I have ever given this whole week/month/term/ year/ last 2 years... you get the drift (:

FESTIVAL GROUP PROJECT IS OVERRRR!!!!
HOOORRRRAAYYYY!!!
after slogging hard from 9pm all the way to 8 am without a wink or even like 10 seconds with my eyes closed.
I MADE IT!!
i thought it wouldnt be possible, but we all pulled through (:
im so so so so so so glad my team and i went through this together!

and just when we were thinking of celebrating...

MON- Culinary Learning Journal
- CRSpa Group Project

TUE- CRSpa Interview
(some banana pushed it forward..)

WED- TTB Make Up Class Test

FRI- CONTEMP Group Project

SAT- TDT Trianing

just when you think its over...

MON- TTB Group Submission

and

the

list

goes

on

and

on

and

on

and

onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn................................

okay, love you all (:

2008-01-15T20:40:00.000-08:00

hello friends,

i miss you all terribly.
mon was culinary
tue was home alone with drowsy cough syrup and worrying abt the loners gang in school.
wed is home alone with martha stewart to keep the noise level up.
and its the day i miss onelove lunch date :(
and and and, its the day i realise CSIT deadline is postpone!!!

YESYES, POSTPONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE to FRIDDAAYYY!!!!
please remind me how happy i am right now.

2008-01-14T07:52:00.000-08:00

im on the verge of tears!
mummy came to ask how's my results and when are my exams!
REJOICEEE!!!
like finally, she bothered to ask me.
but i knw she's worried abt my endlesss activitites and studies and health and cherliang and her baos and the sticky floor and the bag of rubbish in my room and what time is class tmr!

mummy, thank you.
you just put a stop to procrastination and move on to gear 10!
(:

2008-01-14T07:17:00.000-08:00

cough cough cough
thats all you hear from me all day
i sound like a spoilt radio trying to hit full blast
im sorry to everyone trying to interpret what im trying to say.
even chef "huh" me today. thats sad.

last day at pastry, no more melting, glazing, decorating, coating, chiller, fruits, pastry cream, scoldings, diao-ings, rantings.
honestly, chef fang is one of the most fun chef to work with, you can laugh laugh at all the comments he make and the random qns he'll ask you.
"So Kimberly, you like Chinese New Year anot?"
aint he cute?
yes, he asked if TTT was fun, i said it was, then he say, "so you say pastry not fun la!"
hahaha, thats the nicer side only.
and i shall end here.

pastry is just not my thing, if you ask me to plate like a main course, i'll do it with my heart and soul.
but in pastry, i just somehow cannot seeem to find that drive.
my pastries end up looking not up to standard.
maybe, just maybe, i was made for the pots and pans, just.. dont let me burn down TCA huh.
finally, game plan up.
kudos to team leader CHUA WEIJIE for completing game plan, AGAIN (:

cough cough cough, tmr is MC day.
i cannot stop.

i think i might die from dead brain cells cause of the endless smses i receieve when im asleep and my handphone under my pillow
people! radiation kills, stop sms-ing me in the middle of the night.
you ought to be sleeping!

and TFD was talking about some Naitonal Nude Day at New York's subway where people acted like normal passengers wearing just their undies/ half naked.
COOL STUFF. let me check out that arsee please, tanned? toned? okkay, bring home!
-.-
i think its the cough syrup, im getting drowsy.

so, as everyone else is mugging for CSIT/ TTB/ doing FEST/ CSIT/ CRS..
i am here blogging so, i think i should rest my heavy head and let the syrup work its magic.
the epitome of rest, tell me about it.

2008-01-10T09:58:00.000-08:00

ROAR!
are you happy now?
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAA.
Taken from Sock's blog:
"TO Kim: We have done a survey and 90% of the people blogs about unhappy stuff, you are not alone!"

funny right? thats why thats why they are called one love.
1,2,3,4,5,6,7 met up on wednesdaysss as usual!
And today, pohsuan and I had some feet disaster again.
I poured a large refillable Ice Tea from Carl's Junior on her leg, AGIAN!
and that was supposed to be a gdbye hug
and that was supposed to be kenny's dinner drink but we finished the nice one he prepared..
and that was the fun-est thing ever!
(other than secretly taking photos of perrrrrsuan when she's snoring away, HAH!)

i feel i feel, i feel the bond nowadays.
with ken the guy living many lifes, changing from a matt to a ahbeng when talking to me and meng.
hmmm, im so not a meeeeeeee--.

wellwell, first day of TPOH.
disappointing crowd mannn, where have all the secondary school kids gone to?
first 3 weeks (instead of 3 months?)...
arrrrrr, looooossssssseeeeerrrrrr.
dont waste it, come poly, then use those 3 months to WORK.
earn money and buy pretty clothes (then) for poly (:
HAHA, RANDOM.
but it might not mean im damnnnn happy noww (:

but still, a smile is better than a frown.
things will get better, dont think you guys know what im refering to.
NO. dont try to read me hor. HAHA!
so so so many things, but like what xiaocai says, confident front, and you will eventually be convinced by that front (:
I will.

2008-01-08T08:25:00.000-08:00

i get so stressed up at night, i clenched my fists to sleep.
waking up with cramped up wrists, like my cramped up brain.
thinking about how things have changed, perceptions.
its not i dont care, really.

Dear God, guide me away from the ugly things I see, save me.

2008-01-04T01:02:00.000-08:00

i know im not supposed to feel this way, but i am.
feel like giving up everything i have built up.
well, there aint alot to lose.
so, whose loss is it anyway?

give up.

im so happy now, im atstarbucks chilling with my favourite girls, i mean, 2 men and 1 girl
i love onelove!

"When it comes to embracing true beauty, few encompass all that it means to shine from the inside"

2007-12-31T10:19:00.001-08:00

As the new year slowly creeps up to me from behind, holding the champagne glass, I could hardly believe my eyes, the big and eleborated words plastered on the television screen, "2008!"
It is the new year once again, and sadly, I feel no joy, no excitement, nothing..
Trying to recall what was the date today, 31st December 2007. The last day of the year, yet, I still could not feel a thing about the fact that 2007 is coming to an end, and I am moving on into a brand new year.
This could be a new year where I could learn from my mistakes, a time where I can learn how to love, a time where I learn how to cherish, a time where I learn how to focus and achieve what I really want in my life. But no..

There was nothing, no sense of remorse for the mean things I have said, for the sorrys I should have told, for being just so insensitive of me, for that past year. I felt nothing.
I shunder at the fact of how I have lose focus in life, where I pass a day at a time, with no aim nor motivation. Where I procrastinate and leave the job hanging. This is not me, and I refuse to accept the fact that this is me.

Looking back at the entries I have posted, all were nothing but masks for me to hide this hideous face. All but excuses, it was always them at fault and not me, it was always me on top and not democracy, it was all me, me, and me.
Im disgusted, I do feel disgraced by my own acts and words that pierced through the hearts of the ones I love so much.
Remorse, slowing creeping onto me, I broke down into a pool of tears.
Thinking of how ungrateful I have been, how angry I was, how insensitive, how bitchy, how rude, how arrogant, how I have evolved into the monster sitting here.
I have let so many people down, disppointed a dozen more, lost so many many more.
I dont want to hear anymore of acceptance and compromising from others, because its time I change.

Certainly, there must have been a few good things that have happened to me in 2007, without a doubt, I do recall.
As the world celebrates with parties and dancing, I sit here, facing the empty screen that seeem to reflect on how empty and shallow I am inside.
I solemnly pray that this new year will be a better year.
Learn to love,
Learn to speak,
Learn to think,
Learn to work.

As the quotes goes,
"God has given us two ears, but one tongue,
to show that we should be swift to hear, but slow to speak.
God has set a double fence before the tongue, the teeth and the lips,
to teach us to be wary that we offend not with our tongue."
-Watson, Thomas

Goodbye 2007, Welcome 2008, hopefully..

2007-12-30T06:03:00.000-08:00

1 Japanese Sweet Potato and 2 Crystal Jade Char Siew Bao

im sorry the crystal jade had to come in, to make my dinner sound MORE glamourous.
can you believe it? that was all i had for dinner.
its 10 pm and i am still surving, not looking for food to eat.
serves me right, tummy not well.

all hail the calamari, sausage and overly dressed caesar salad Village had to offer.
but thank you nccl for the treat which went down the toilet bowl within erm.. 1 hour?
i still love you okay.

one love, centis, zilra, frytho, exco, su, loners gang, chij babes, pf 2007, and everyone else, so sorry for not spending the last and the first moment on 07 & 08 with you peeepssss.
P-R-O-J-E-C-T-S ARE KILLING MEEE!!!
AND if there's any tutors out there who are reading this, please reply the emails sent from your studetns because they are in desperate need of help and are dying in this period of stress and tension.
YES, REPLY PLEASEEE!!!
THANKYOUU!!
i sent so many mails, i only received one reply.
!@#%^&$

2007-12-27T22:15:00.000-08:00

SEEE LA,

PROCRASTINATE

SOMEMORE LAA!!

NOW,

YOU

D-I-E!!

2007-12-26T06:07:00.000-08:00

HELLOOO EVERYONNEEE!!!

(ooohhh, someone just messaged on bananafleas!)

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!

yes yes, im still on that blog-selling-clothes thing

rather disheartened when this woman wanted one of the tops

and opted for meet-ups, but she just refuses to meet up.

pissedd the bananafleas out of me..

and told her by this week, she said she dont want it anymore.

ROARRRRRRR, annoying? irritating? tell me about it..

and other thing, my space bar is SPOILT.

itssonotsensitive,so i havetotype likethis the wholetime

canyouimaginehow irrtated i amwhenihavesomany reportsto complete?

SLAPME.

helphelpnayoneee?????

ROAR, imsoannoyed.

anyway, xmas was good.

5/7 of onelovewith loved one(s) (:

familyfinallysatdownforaXmasdinner

pizza hut and KFC, mum refused to let her daughter burn down her kitchen

ron and luff the YTB with the amazing video.

lastly, presents!

i got a scarf, purse, PA shirt alllllllltheway from genting, loads of candycanes, and...

MY SILVER IPOD NANO FROM MY SISTER & MIKE!!!

ohmyohmy (:

i love it! thank you mschew and mschong!!

thebestchirstmasever!

2007-12-21T08:36:00.001-08:00

yet another post, you ask me why?
thank you krissy for reading my blog and asks me to drink me more water, hohs.

*gropes nehneh, not letting go*

i have the sudden urge to edit all my photos in my folder, but i dont know how.

i have the sudden urge to pack and repack my room, but i dont have the space.

i have the sudden urge to ring up all my bestfriends to tell them i love them, but i dont... no excuses for that, so for that i told boon i love him and one love.

I'm estatic, christmas is here.

I'm dejected, I have no presents under the christmas tree.

probably cause I dont have a tree.

cough is killing me, bye!

2007-12-21T08:10:00.000-08:00

I probably need a new blogskin, this blogskin is like... old school.
but its done by maybelle, so yeah, i guess not huh?
1) she is a fantastic bombastic job on it (omg, the cheer -.-)
2) she is maybelle sua
3) she is probably as busy as me right now
4) she might never go out with me ever again.
HAHA! maybelle, I miss you so much and i want you here. please go out with me, will you?

you remember tiny words entry?
man, was i glad when senior said this about her,
"OHHH That one.. -shows that face- i dont really like her,
she's quite bitchy"
(well, i could put that word really big like large-big, but i chose to be like less mean and put is to size small)
oh i guess its an universal term to describe huh..

I dont know whats wrong but I dont seem to have a single cent with me when its 1 more week to allowance day.
It doesnt seem to get any better when mum gave me more, I seriously need to work.
need to work more, work hard, spend smart.
so this christmas, dont expect anything expensive from me.
(i was glad one love reccomended Daiso for choice of shopping venue)
but you know what could come in handy this christmas?

CHIRSTMAS WISH LIST

- 1 pot of gold
- 2 pots of gold
- 3 pots of gold
- 4 pots of gold
- 5 pots of gold
- 6 pots of gold
- 7 pots of gold
- 8 pots of gold
- 9 pots of gold
- 10 pots of gold
- okay, just find me the spot where rainbow ends

I NEED CASH DESPERATELYY!!!

2007-12-20T08:39:00.000-08:00

HELLO EVERYONE!!

or probably one love and some sould out there,
please do welcome me back (:
3 days of camp was hell for me,
probably because Day 0 was spent with one love chilling all over the east.
Day 1 was when flu got the better of me, sniffing and sniffing
Dat 2 was more and more sniffing, also a feverish fever
Day 3 was totally fatigue and lesseer of the sniffing
that sums it all up really well.

To me, the camp wasnt that great but it could be better, because I do see the potential in the people who may affect it, no doubt, that includes myself.
So, im gonna spare you the details.
thank you Edwin for being my partner these past 3 days.
thank you Kahyuen for the panadols that really helped me stop blowing my nose
thank you to all FRYTHO/ FRYHTO GLs for constantly asking if i was okay and telling me its okay to rest (you guys understand more, so touched please)
thank you to everyone who made this camp possible, even if it was to pick the rubbish, lead a cheer, create a cheer, walked from SDC to swimming pool just for a pail or soemthing, packed 500 packets of food, got wet while trying to get seomone wet. thank you everyone!

But you know, the camp has its flaws and all, but I was glad everyone came together.
It seemed more like a bonding camp for everyone, including the MC.
hopefully everyone took the criticism constructively.
I was glad that I managed to survived reading all the notes, it was good.
Well, I really wanna thank everyone in the comm who made it happen,
camp comm, foodmin, log and prog!

But one thing that annoys me is the fact that everyone needs to experience being not sensitive to one's feelings before they start changing, I was like that too, cause 7 days was too much for me and i was kinda like grumpy.
But I dont know if everyone knows how to change or probably sense the unhappiness.
Because I was sure some people were not sympathetic or even didnt believe that I was really sick, not only tired, I was really drowsy from the cold and my head was really cramping up and every cheer my GL did was like a earthquake to me.. they passed off a nasty comment or give me a certain look and moved on.
It is sad, isnt it?
So, I guess that was why I really pushed myself so hard in the camp, probably the worst ever, and now I know how bad it was falling sick in a camp and it didnt help when we had to walk in the rain for 2 hrs.
the weather, tsk tsk.
I didnt even get a wink at Project Red Eye, cause I didnt dare be the only one who was resting, even though I was really dying inside.

Probably something like, "drink more water (suddenly thinking of psuan), or sit here for awhile la." that kinda thing..
Kim: oh well, you think everyone like your ma and pa ah?

dum dum dum,
today was Loner's Gang Xmas Gathering!
We had miso based soup as our steamboat, with pork, beef, mushrooms and tofu.
its all the basics because the bananas dont like vege, HAHA.
well, I had fun, drinking, watchin ben drink more, watching ben make flambe bananas, watching calisata scrub his sink, watching xx refrain from alcohol, watching myself spill wine TWICE (there goes my position in TDT...), watching siewmai's wine glass fly, watching jiamin wipe other peopl's table-instead of her own table at home..
yeah. that was it.
FUN FUN FUN!

okay, tired. im almost dead, i need to sleep more.
bye.

2007-12-16T00:08:00.000-08:00

this is it, three days away from me love.
in camp, hot and sweaty with the almost crazy 500 lot
this camp might or might not be my last otc,
but it still means alot to me..
because this is the last otc i am gonna spend with the many yr3s who are leaving this year..
and i hate to say it, but i think im sad.. very sad..
glenn, maybelin, sarah, yuting, caleb, tomu, hairil, lionking, my ex GLs, my fellow GLs..
letsnot think about it until.. prob FOW/ FOC?
because i wanna cry all in one shot, all out.

i'll do my part to make this camp a wonderful one, with my FA partner (:
together with the rest of the MC, i hope and pray thate everyone, especially me, will keep a good work mind and also put ourselves in each other's shoes;
just so to make this camp a succesful and enjoyable one.

we can do this OTC MC/ SC/ CAMPERS 0708, we're gonna rock TP yet again!

PSST. ILOVEYOUCCL!

2007-12-14T10:35:00.000-08:00

F K.
fill in the blanks, would you?
if its true, i am so gonna kill you f k ing bitaatccchhhh.
where is your sympathy.
where is your heart, have it gone all bad and rotten.
brains, words and everything else wont give you a golden heart.
education, all gone to waste.
seriously, you f shithead.

omgomgomg, im sorry.

2007-12-14T10:17:00.000-08:00

hmmm, sometimes you need to love yourself for just that one minute.
1...58, 59, 60!

okay bye, that was then, this is now.
go sauna you pile of ghee!
TAG: I HATE MYSELF!

ahahahha, i think i need to rest.

2007-12-14T09:01:00.000-08:00

Goodbye Sock, have fun at cheeennnaaaa land!
please do get soem bucket bags home for the deprived kids yeah?

Goodbye ah meng, have fun at vietnam!
please do get some nice food back for the hungry kids okay?

OH WELL, was wondering what to talk about.
but yeah, its gonna be 2 men short for one love this holidays.
AWWMAN, will update so socker can read when she's back!
we spent like 4 hrs at a lok kok kopitiam jus chillin and chatting,
this is how loving one love can get.
but, we missed kenny today, OHWELL, MR CHONG, PLEASE DO TAG MY BOARD YOU HAVE NOT TAGED BEFORE AND THANK ME FOR ACCOMPANYING YOU ON WED NIGHT.

oh yes, the exciting part right now.
wednesday night was madness, you thought you'll get high with guys grinding you?
haha, TEHHHHH, so wrong.. i got so high when kri and junner came on me.
oh my oh my, i think i need to do something, to make sure im straight. HAHA.
*gropes ass, ahems.
okay, back to normal.
well, you know everyone in there.. its like animals let loose and horns all popping out.
what an eyesore, at times.
but i maintained my sanity.
arh, its just not the kinda lifestlye i would want to lead in the near future, so i guess its goodbye mambos, once in awhile prob?
ccl, come with me. HAH! love you baby!

today was 1st daya t wrk at Food for Thought, the best palce in town for a meal!
they have suchhh delicious food and all, i love it!
and guess what, i had like the sandwich for lunch all by myself!
enjoyable or what? no, it was so great i could have cleaned the whole cafe up before i knocked off!
they had lor neng (lu dan/ lor egg) with caesar salad, its efffing cool (:
come come, bugis mrt station, oppo library,
see you there people!
definitely something not worth missing (:

tension flies high, we stopped, snapped out of our trance.
glares at the alram clock on the table; 1:35 it reads.
why are we even awake, not for a better cause?
I dont know, for a moment, i was so angry i could have killed you
yet another, i feel the sudden urge to run to you.
whatever it is, I know its love.
Because its love thats why we got into this, its good and bad.
but still, its love.
and im blinded right now, because i dont want anymore questions or answers,
i just want you here tonight.

verdict, life hasnt been fulfilling since many yrs ago,
never felt like i belonged anywhere,
thank you to one love, for the love you've shone upon me
for making life such a enjoyable thing, for everything and anything you talk abt,
it'll make me laugh
it'll make me think
it'll make me cry
it'll make me a better person.
it'll make me learn to love my friends more.
thank you one love, the only love!

and also, i miss zilra and the rest.
kahyuen, i will always rmb the story abt the leopards cannot change the spots,
but they can alwasy try to show whatever else is better than the obvious spots protruding out.
they try, we try, at least we tried.
love you ky (:
see you campmates on monday!
welcome to my life partner high profile, you are so gonna suffer with me (:

2007-12-10T21:10:00.000-08:00

GREAT SONG (:
GREAT VOICE (:
HOT ARRSSEEEE (:

ICANNOTPOSTTHELINK, BUTWHOCARES, YOU CLICK YRSELF LAAA HORRR?
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZTLwmLwZW68&feature=related

he's the singer in Enchanted, the part where the leads we dancing in the ball (:
that song is called so close, melts instantly pelasee.

After all we’re only human,
always fighting what we’re feeling,
hurt instead of healing,
after all we’re only human,
is there any other reason why we stay instead of leavin’

; i wouldnt trade for anything else in the world, in exchange of you.

2007-12-09T07:13:00.000-08:00

Friday was the meetup session with the other 5!
Its been a long time, we've come a long way.
daryl, suhui, freda, naz, xiang, thank you for the past 6 years!
many more years to come, with more and more outings yea!
its times like this, that reminds me how sane i was.
suddenly felt so nostalgic and all about SJC,
btw, we despise the school one, only love is Mr Tan Gim Chuan.
hohos, papa we love you!

Saturday was Cocktails with TDT people!
Perlin's egg broke, haha! and i thought she purposely put water in her container! -.-
Krissy's jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way... was the cocktail of the day!
mygoodness, its freaaaaakkkkinnnnn nice (:
see, this is called effort!
mine is called what-the-hell-you-doing/ thinking?

went back compass and ate my popiah for lunch, alone, in kopitiam.
so pathetic right? thats cause the girls went to swim after school (:
i decided to put in effort and went library to borrow some bartending, culinary, dessert books!
went to AMK's ulu coffeeshop with family for dinner!
crabs crabs and more crabs! zzzz, damn ncie please!
it was as if each dish delevered was nicer then the last!
and mama cannot stop saying, "See, ask you call your ccl to come you duwan, the food so nice la!"
people have to work mum.
one love, we go there one day k! but waiting time DAMN long ah!

oh well, project today. alot but managable though.
its daddy's bday today! (:
but i forgot, feeling so guilty and upset the whole day.
saw him and gave him a bigggg hugggg today, he was so happy (:
i accompanied him thru his games and peeled an egg for him
i love you henry tan yang seng (:
thank you for being the best god-father every girl can ask for!
bighug!

Today, after I had my shower, I went into the room,
Naked I stood in front of the mirror and I thought,
'What's this pile of ghee doing in front of my mirror?'
; I need to looossss weeighttttttt

2007-12-08T09:54:00.000-08:00

2007-12-08T09:46:00.000-08:00

OKAY! INJECTING SOME LIFE NOWWWW :D

okayla, i should start pending down whats bothering me underneath my table
im serious hor, if you manage to cross thru those piles of books from the doorway, to my table, look underneath, its where my true feelings show hor.
got meaning one, all the quotes.
one when i lost a badm match of my life, when i won, when i felt so maligned, when i wanted to fly.
HAHA -.-

anyway, wahhhh, socker's post was damn hilarious please.
and boonie's attempt to fold his white BERMUDAS so it wont get WET FROM THE RAIN!
meng's damn lok kok dressing, once in a life
socker's hiphop stlye that day.
krissy the everyday-can-see-her-bra, sometimes only laarrrr.
psuan and her ever so manly dresscode, (PSST! Please wear a dress one day, im longing for that day) (PSSSSST!! boonie, im so gonna get a pinky shirt for you for xmas! )
kennyyy.... told me hes leaving hse but reach class 1h 15 mins ltr. !$^@!
we miss you cann!!!
lingwei sharing her indian food cause psuan told her it will turn soft -.-
awhile wont die one laa.. but i happily ate away la.
gen and xue er.. damn funny lar.

please do read, thats why my days at sunny island is that exciting (:
Wednesdays with One Love!

hmmm, but i still miss kahyuen and the whole lot back home :(

2007-12-08T09:27:00.000-08:00

okay, i need to inject more life in my life
okay, i need to inject more laughter in my laughter
okay, i need to inject more love

im not greedy you know, you know at times where you seem to look at things and judge yrself from another's point of view, after you do something or say something?
Yeah, i get that feeling all the time, and most of the time,
im disgusted.

im disgusted by how disgusting i can get
im amazed by how wierd i can get
im astonished by how intitiative takes over, both good and bad
im petrified by how horrifying words may seem
; devious

some people think i'm too diffcult on myself, i worry too much, i take things too seriously.
because i am serious about life, no point living life like theres no meaning at all.
because there is, thats why i opt not to get wasted and all, not that mama allows la..
but yeah, its all about improving yourself,
for yourself, for your friends, for your loved ones, for everything that is changing without you.

guess it all comes down to my fav quote:

"Always work like you dont need the money,

Always fall in love like you have never been hurt,

Always dance like nobody's watching

& always live like its heaven on earth"

-Mark Twain

thank you loners gang for the accompany and hargaos

thank you one love for the daily dose of love

thank you ccl for understanding

;i need to be more magninimous, the magnitude of my ego outweights the magnitude of grace.
talking about things wouldnt make things happen unless you do it.

2007-12-06T08:46:00.000-08:00

tell me you dont love this pic, im so gonna beat you up.
HAHA!
arent they adorable?
thats regina and cedric, god cousin and god nephew (:

i think i should act feminine nowadays ah? im so rough please.
OHWELL :D
wrk wrk wrk wrk wrk, so much wrk :(

2007-12-03T08:49:00.000-08:00

Counts, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7!!
the blatant innocence of a child displayed through epitome of love.
oh my, what am i typing these days?
this is one love.
or rather, i hope it will be! (:
but we will be.
sorry i am talking about it so openly again
but i really miss them like helllaaalottt..

well, sometimes i really do hate myself for being who i am, so in-the-face
at times, not sensible and logical thinker. and what not.
but i really thank them for accepting who i am
and for the 1001 times that make me realise how selfish i might even be.
its times like this, they dont even realise that they allow me to achieve this self actualisation.

one love, forever!

hmmm, today was 3rd week at TTT for ops.
well, you know, week 1 was sous chef, week 2 was cold kitchen
& just when i thought that i could mannage some counter for the last week..
TEHHH, i was kept in the cold kitchen again man.
but oh well, chef desmond did make it clear tt we dont get what we alwasy wanted huh?
still, found it so hard to believe that i am the only one who haven touched the stove yet.
that is so depressing..
but think of the bright side, i still do get to like take up responsibility and 'head' the kitchen (for awhile before chefs came in to help (: )
so yeah, guess it wasnt that bad?

but i couldnt hold back how unjust i felt, when i was slicing those tomates, i sliced my palm so many a times.
ohwell, it woke me up that working as a team means sacrificing what you would want to do and to d what needs to be done.
and im glad i did, cause i did caesar salad, mise en place, dessert and everything cold (:
roars, and i had nice ppl to work with, what more can i ask for? :D
yeah, i just needed ot rant this out cause i seem like the only onennot knowing whats gg on man.
but thanks to chef desmond for asking why i was so gloomy,
hello uncle desmond, you know please, why still ask?
BUT I REALLY DO UNDERSTAND.
thanks chef for the countless attempts to make me laugh, HAHA.
it made them laugh instead, try harder next time laaa.

so, pastry next, we all heard stories here and there.
shring session w girls at the locker's room helped everyone familiarise with the other chefs..
i feel it man, we are bonding. HOHO.
and i certainly don mind when tiffy talked abt us all lying on top/ bottom/ left/ right ard her.. HAHA.

its 1 am, ttb is tmr at 2pm and i have more or less not started.
all the best kim. omggg.

colourful to you!

2007-12-02T05:29:00.000-08:00

im afraid of balloons,

but if you gave them to me,

i wouldn't mind

but you might need to consider

cause i might bite your nehneh off

2007-12-01T09:03:00.000-08:00

i serecetly hate people who make me feel so stupid.
i need to read more books.
mayb i'm suffering from dyslexia.
ahem, coughs.

cannot deny that i feel uncertain at times

i secretly despise people who are such great examples of narcissistic.
i feel like bursting that inflated mind of self indulgence.

i secretly hate myself at times for being incestuous at times, haha!
lets not show examples okay? (:

i secretly hate people who worships PSA, but haiyahhh...
CCL, hello and i love you.

2007-12-01T07:12:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone.

Today, is quite a long post.
So bear with me alright?

NEL Gang have been officially changed ot One Love Gang,
with the consensus of the 4 females, (cause only 7 ppl, HAHA!)
SO, PEOPLE, WE ARE CALLED ONE LOVE OKAY?
you know, now kenny have becomed clever and learns how to TAG,
someone shld really let MINSONG know, you know?
thanks.
HAHAHAHA *blasts hokkien songs to catch meng's attention*
and i wanna let big boobs mama KRISSY, ice cold BOONIE, manly sexy PSUAN, loveable SOCK, savable KENNY and bengzx MINSONG, know that i really treasure the roadtrips we have, the love we share and every moment i spend with you people, is a happy moment (:
Thank you for taking all the troubles away and being one of the few people i can love and trust!
ROAR, THIS IS NOT A HI-BYE FRIENDSHIP, ITS HERE TO STAY!
I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU, WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO FALL
I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU, IF YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOOOOOOO!! (:

Hint: I'll keep my promise of having many many guest rooms in my future house alright? WAHAHAHAHAHAHAH :D

Yijie, Ronald and Luffy, tell me, where else do i find nice people like you?
Helping the very screwed up us to comeplete the video within 48 hours.
kudos to you, seriously.
i dont even know what o say to you when i see you guys so seriously at work but i am more occupied with whatever that is troubling me.
My sincere apologies and i really appreciate the effort you put in the video!
I really hope this video will get the approval of Esplanade and that you can add this very impressive project to your portfolio.
THANK YOU A MILLION TIMES AND ITS NOT ENOUGH!!
SO WE ARE GONNA TREAT YOU TO LIKE... NICE FOOD!!
THANKS ALOT PLEASEEE!!!! ROAR.

You know how people tend to run away from a problem because they have such big egos they dont want people to know about it?
Yes, i am like that.
But I am not gonna hide anymore today.
You think being a President is the most prestigious thing in this organisation?
Well, I guess so? With all the invitaitons to events and all the people knowing who are you, and the list goes on and on..
But you all dont see the hard work that my team and i put in.
Seriously, it is nto easy managing 200 odd ppl all the time, need we say more to try n please all the students in TP?
But you know, this is what we have expected when we first thought of running for elections.
But the thing is, and i know ppl are reading, i am gonna let you know that being presidnet is not easy at all.
And I am constantly suffering from people watching me so closely like they gonna snap at my face whenever i do someone 'not preseident-y'
like come on, being presidnet doesnt mean that i still cant be the same old kimberly chew right?
but it certainly do come with alot of power, responsibility, time sacrificed and work. its something we cannot hide from and i am not
I can very proiudly say that I have not MIA-ed or anything, and whenever i am not present for meeitngs (2 meetings in fact), i am really sick and unwell.
I have been there all year doing my job, signing my documents. If there are anything i've missed out, i apologise. Even thought its nto that good, i still feel i accomplised that part of my job.
well, i wanna say that i am suffering really badly from all these watchful eyes of the people.
all the 'expectations' that they have setted in mind for the president.
come on, everoyne is different, everyone have different expectations.
My principle is that I cannot let Union affect my school, family and friends, and so, if i feel that i have done my job, without compromising anyone else, then im okay.
But I dont deny that I have done that perfectly well because i suck at time management, so yes, after the talk with GLENN SANDHU, i really am gonna make up for lost time and contact with whatever and whoever i have not been with.
Im sorry Union, Family and Friends. and most importantly, all my homework waiting for me..
This expectations thing really made me shun from the lights and watchful eyes of all the people, because i hate being watched.
That is probably why i dislike going to the ----- that much, because i HATE people saying, "eh.. you are the presidnet of TPSU.. you shld... you cannott... you must..." like seriously, get a life la! I really do know what Im doing.
I dont think His Excellency gets that all the time as much as I do? I do think that he does have a time of his own where he lets loose huh?
liek seriously, i tried all year to ignore that phrase, but hellooo??
did you try NOT to use that phrase on me? i dont think so.

But after this whole chunk of banana crap i have longed to type, I am letting it go.
To let all the people with all this expectations thing they have on me, that i am happy you do, because it shows that you are concerned abt how i am doing, and i learn from that as well, i appreciate.
But the thing is, I am gonna do it my own style, my own way. So, if i feel its not enough, i am gonna catch up. So yes, I really wanna you know that all those labelling will nt me or you any better.
It still comes down to what you do at the end of the day, and what people actually see you doing.
So, dont come label that i am not doing a good job and all, i know i am not the bset that you can find, but really, heck what people say about you and do what you feel is the best. isnt that what living is about?
now, its not too late to let it out and move on, because there's still like 4 months more. whether i am in exco or nt nxt yr, SU will still be in my heart and i will go all out for you/ it/ her/ haiyah, union laaa.
THANK YOU, TP OEI!

Okay, sometimes you feel like choking this particular person because work delegated is not done? Especially so when you have no right to do it, no level of authority allows you to do it? Okay, we feel it that way. But still, it acts as a reminder how NOT to become like them.

And it hurts me so much to see a fellow co-worker feels do depressed over the treatment another is giving? Like, you said it a million times, we are a team, then why arent you acting like a team player? Listen to what people has to say, and not snap.

2007-11-29T09:21:00.000-08:00

im caught between so many things, i cannot untangle myself
im so messed up right now, i cannot get a grip of myself
im on the verge of murdering that fella, i cannot stop shaking
why is it our problem when you cannot get your job done?
why is it our problem when you didnt produce what you promised?
i dont ask for you to understand, im just as frustrated as you are

2007-11-27T08:38:00.001-08:00

was rading the research done my group and i cannot stop laughing at the resemblance..
"Those looking for a more relaxed holiday can enjoy the arts and crafts; the many beauty spots and attractions such as Eely Point Reserve, Glendhu Bay and Mou Waho Lake; the Transport Museum; and Puzzling World with its amazing maze."

okay la, i know nothing much about that huh? but i love BBF!

Today was fun, another outing with Loner's Gang (:
It was Enchanted today, like zomg, we are so in love with chic flicks huh?
the first time was stardust and its really reallyyy nice (:
oh well, there were amillion kids at the cinema today and a hell lot of kissing scenes in the moive.
and so many spoil-the-moment moments (:
Kissing Scene 1: *damn innocent voice* "Why you cover my eyes?"
Kissing Scene 2: *loud and agrresive* "Eew.. eewwww.. EEEEEWWWWWW!!!!"
Kissing Scene 3: (Note that is this like the ending part, the most crucial part, the most exciting part) "EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!"
wahlao, i can confirm its the same guy la.

but still, these kids are so darn cute!
we laughed like hell at them la, and ben spendt 7 bucks on a 1 1/2 hr nap. HAH!

oh, let me tell you about my blooper.
Im not ashamned to tell everyone because in life, we share our expereinces (:
I nearly burnt TCA down on Monday! Haha!
okay, not funny, im quite sad actually.
because chef was pan frying some stuff la, then i decided to help, it was 730 am leh.
so serena and i happily fry fry, i thought (DID) turn off the stove when it was done.
told chef it was done, blah blah blah.
went back, steam from pot of oil, thought induction too hot.
So, i removed it from the stove
AND BOOMM!!! it burst out into flames! zzomg.
serena and i were so calm la, shouted "chef.. Chef.. CHEFFFFF FIREEE LAAA!!!"
then they responded -.-
so yeah, take cover cover it up and tadah, all done.
and chef --- kept on tsking me, haiyoh, damn sad can.

Apparently, it was because i off-ed the wrong stove, i turned off the broth switch, not the pan switch la.
But still, i guess it was like a very exciting moment for onlookers
but i take it as a very good humbling session that
in the kitchen, evrything can go wrong if you dont pay attention.
and whats more, its 730 am, so all the more you need to stay focused and alerted.
So to all Commis Chef, please dont make this mistake again

-the very humblised Commis Chef Kim

zz, lecturers' sppreciation night was great!
1H10 won (: WHOOOO!!!! love them!
hhahahah, oh well, love nehneh, shaun( whom i tihnk can take after boon as star rower next time knw), my cute cute boy, ivan, nadia, amanda, raper boy, geraldine, and of course, KAHYUEN!!!!
i really love 1H10, and i pray that they'll stay tt way forever!

:D